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From The Archives: SpiderManCrawlspace Application Sample.

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Originally submitted for an application at SpiderManCrawlspace.com, I wouldn't be able to tell you if I was rejected because I have yet to get a response from Brad. Big shoutout to his site and to the crew, I think they're pretty cool. This may have been altered a bit. The Amazing Spider-Man #655. Written by Dan Slott, drawn by Marcos Martin, colored by Muntsa Vicente, and lettered by VC's Joe Caramagna. Previously, Marla Jameson, wife of J. Jonah Jameson died in the hands of Alastair Smythe. The cover shows Spider-Man, completely grief-stricken over the events of the last issue. There is so little in this cover, yet it says too much. 7:00 AM, J. Jonah Jameson is waking up to an empty bed. It's very easy to notice Marla's absence. Jameson is getting ready for her funeral. We also see Peter Parker getting ready for the day, he puts on his Spider-Man clothes under his regular clothes, but then he decides to not wear it for the funeral. What follows is everyone at the ...

The Amazing Double Feature (Review)

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Last time in the Amazing Spider-Man: Eh idk. Time to look at issues 33 and 34 of The Amazing Spider-Man vol. 2. By J. Michael Straczynski and drawn by John Romita Jr. This is the cover for issue 33, Spider-Man is chillling with our pal Ezekiel and stuff and things, but it seems like Ezekiel has told Spidey that he has a bug on his arm.  The comic begins with Spidey trying to fight against Morlun, but none of his punches seem to actually harm him. Morlun manages to throw him across the street. Morlun tells Peter that he does not get tired, he doesn't give up, and he eventually will catch him.  What follows is a pretty damn good fight scene, Peter keeps trying to hit Morlun but nothing seems to work. It seems like Spider-Man is about to die, so Peter runs away... But then Morlun shows up again! He wasn't lying when he said that once he found Spidey, he would always be able to find him. He manages to run away from Morlun and goes to Ezekiel for help, but it's just too late for...

Spider-Man Tsum Tsum Review

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I am very critical of Spider-Man media. I love this character more than anyone else in the world and I like to believe that I have a good understanding of what makes this character so cool and how things should be, and that means I'm critical of the many plush toys that have come over the years. Believe it or not, the guy that decided to post every Spider-Man plushie ever made does NOT own every Spider-Man plushie. I own all of 9 Spider-Plushies. Here's the list: - Spider-Man 3 PlayByPlay plushie. - Ultimate Marvel Spider-Man Plushie (small) - Ultimate Marvel Spider-Man (BIG) - Super Hero Squad Spider-Man Plushie  - Spider-Man: Homecoming Homemade Suit Plushie by Funko. - Ty Beanie Babies Spider-Man plushie - Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man - Spider-Man Plush Keychain (2002) And the one we're gonna be reviewing today. But we need background first. During the 2010's, Disney had this little thing called "Tsum Tsums", they were these weird pill shaped toys based on differe...

4 Random Issues: THE HULK!

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Aw man, I am so looking forward to this. Believe it or not, I don't need Wikipedia to tell you the story of how the Hulk was created. Stan Lee says he was actually inspired by monster movies, films like Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he wanted the hero and villain to be one in the same, and he also wanted to show that the monster was actually misunderstood. So, just like with pretty much everything, he asked Jack Kirby to do everything while he added words and took 70% of the credit. So, anyway, The Incredible Hulk #1. Written by Stan Lee, drawn by Jack Kirby. The cover features the Hulk towering over Bruce Banner, look, he's huge! Everyone is just terrified of him, they're all yellow for some reason. "The strangest man of all time!!" You can tell this comic released before I was born. "Fantasy as you like it!" Gee wiz! "Is he man or monster? Or... is he both?" One thing that was always clear to me, even as a child, is that the Hulk ...

The Lowest Point In Modern Spider-Man Comics.

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One thing I didn't want to admit is that I am not a fan of how the recent Amazing Spider-Man comics have been going lately, it seems that the series is not in good hands and that nothing is going to get better... So, why exactly did I not want to admit this? Well, because I try to be optimistic when it comes to Marvel comics, I really have hope that Amazing Spider-Man is gonna be good again, I have hope that the comics about my favorite character will have good storytelling, so what the fuck is going on? It all started in 2006, with a little comic called Civil War, Spidey had his identity revealed and it led to a lot of chaos in his stories, Aunt May was dying again (this time because of a bullet wound), and no hospital will do anything because apparently Spidey is a criminal or something like that. This led to One More Day, where Peter just cannot let go of Aunt May and in order to save her life, he sells his marriage to Mephisto. This comic was shitty, not the worst, but it was a...

FML.

WORLD NEWS: - NOT IN THE MOOD SPIDER-MAN NEWS: -  EVERYONE IS SHITTING ON ME. WATER JUST TRIED TO CANCEL ME FOR OUTRAGEOUS REASONS, SPIDERFIGURES PULLED A WEIRD STUNT ON ME AND NOW, MARVEL COMICS HAS RUINED THEIR ONLY GOOD COMIC BOOK. REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU ABOUT ZOMBIE GWEN STACY? THE OUTCOMES OF THIS COULD'VE BEEN BAD, BUT MARVEL HAS CHOSEN THE WORST POSSIBLE ONE. YOU KNOW GWENPOOL? MY 3RD FAVORITE CHARACTER? THIS MORNING, IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT SHE WAS GETTING A NEW SERIES. NOT ONLY DOES IT RUIN MY RETROSPECTIVE THAT I ALREADY WROTE AND SCHEDULED, BUT THEY DECIDED TO MAKE GWEN STACY THE NEW GWENPOOL. LOOK IT UP. IT'S TRUE. THEY CAN'T EVEN MAKE A GOOD SPIDER-MAN COMIC AND NOW THEY DO THIS? They have fucked up big time. NICK LOWE, YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO MY COOL BDAY PARTY THAT IS HAPPENING SOON. -  ON A LIGHTER NOTE, NEW EPISODES OF SPIDER-MAN THE SHOW OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. SITE UPDATES - THE SITE IS ON FIRE - PREPARE FOR A NEW "DRUNK POSTS" SERIES BECAUSE I...

VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL 2024!!! (Review)

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Last time, in The Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2)... Peter met a guy Ezekiel, who can also do whatever a spider can, he was a bit freaked out. Peter also stopped a school shooter, and he then became a science teacher. I guess we also met Morlun but he hasn't done a lot yet.   Consider this a Valentine's Day Special because I just got a real girlfriend, she just goes to another school, she's real, I swear... Haha... hah...  Anyway, let's actually talk about the comic. This is issue 32 of The Amazing Spider-Man (Volume 2, but we'll be looking volume 1 later), once again, written by J. Michael Straczynski, drawn by John Romita Jr. and with covers by J. Scott Campbell. This is the cover. There are so many things to address, first off, where the hell is he? This place doesn't show up anywhere in the story. That's all there is to address... Why does Spidey look like that? I don't know, J. Scott Campbell's art is pretty mixed. The story begins with some guy wit...

ZOMBIE GWEN STACY! + other stuff

WORLD NEWS + MEDIA NEWS + WHATEVER: - THAT SON OF A BITCH ACTUALLY RENAMED THE GULF OF MEXICO TO GULF OF AMERICA. FUCK THIS GUY. - The Duolingo bird has died.  - The Super Bowl happened recently.  - Superman premiered another clip at the fucking PUPPY BOWL. I'm not Pro-Snyder or Pro-Gunn, but I find it fucking stupid how this is their big movie about their biggest superhero, and they cannot even afford a trailer at the SUPER BOWL? Didn't Jimmy Gunn think about maybe showing the SUPERman trailer at the SUPER BOWL? Is he fucking stupid? So glad I'm a Marvel fan... But then I'll have to see fucking fools talking about this movie... I always lose... - Kai Cenat met Tobey Maguire before I did...  - Kanye West has gone insane. - What the hell is Jerkmate? SPIDER-MAN NEWS (Hey, it's his fansite, right?): - NEW FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN EPISODES. I have not seen them because 1, I'm broke, and 2, why would I wanna watch Peter Parker be a loser like me? C'mon g...

Trapped In A Box. (After-Post)

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I am trapped in a box. I just woke up one day and now I am here. The only pieces of entertainment I have are 1 comic book, a smartphone with 100% battery, and a transmitter that can translate radio signals into internet data for me to write on this blog. Don't ask me how that works. Well, do you remember the West Coast Avengers? I don't really care if you do, here's why, I remember them so you don't have to. As simple as that. Their comics were... Alright, but they were released in 2018! Let's take a look at something more recent. Which means that I'll have to look at Jeff the Land Shark. This is VENOM WAR: IT'S JEFF #1 of 1. by Kelly Thompson and Gurihiru. This issue features the appearance of the WCA... but in New York. This is the cover, it shows Jeff trying to decide what costume to wear for... I don't know, but is it bad that I recognize all the costumes in this cover? Anyway, he doesn't seem to notice that an alien goo from hell is about to eat...

The West Coast Avengers vs. ME! (Triple Feature)

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Remember the West Coast Avengers? Wow, weren't they great? They were just like McDonalds; they're alright and sometimes kinda shitty.  LAST TIME: Kate was looking for someone for her superhero team that ISN'T the WCA, she found Gwen Poole, ok, then they went back home, and Quentin Quire joined the team with his trusty ol' camera crew, and then they fought Tigra. And after that they found a guy named Bronkey Kong or whatever his name was, and it's MODOK in disguise but they took him home anyways because I don't remember, and then Kate and Clint went to a lab, and then they heard a sound, and then Quentin kissed Gwen, and then I forgot what else happened, but the review was over and I reviewed Young Avengers Presents (aka YAP) #6. All in a day's work. Dude, I felt like a stupid little kid explaining a movie to his parents. But I'm gonna feel like an unprofessional comic book critic when I review issues 3 and 4 of WCA (2018). by Kelly Thompson and Stefano C...

4 Random Issues: The Wasp

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I had a hard time making this one. The Wasp was created by Stan Lee, Ernie Hart and Jack Kirby back in 1963. Why? Because. Janet Van Dyne has the incredible ability of becoming as small as an insect... AND FLYING, isn't she so fucking cool? She was a founding member of the Avengers, and she was even the one that NAMED the team. Shame she wasn't included in the first Avengers movie, she was there in the concept art, but she was missing from the final cut along with Ant-Man.  Janet has never had her own series... Unless it's with Hank Pym, so for this I'm just gonna choose random one-shots and guest appearances. FIRST OFF, Avengers Origins: Ant-Man & The Wasp by Roberto Aguirre Sacasa and drawn by Stephanie Hans. This cover was drawn by Marko Djurdjevic, and it is absolutely beautiful, I need this as a poster so that I can keep it rolled up and never put it up on the wall. This comic is a retelling of the origins of Ant-Man & The Wasp... Makes sense for a comic ti...