In The Mind of Spider-Plush

This is the uncensored version. For the censored cut without all the swearing and the mentions of sex, click here. There are only 4 certainties in life: Death, taxes, Burger King messing up my damn order and having a Spider-Man review site look at Sins Past. You've seen everyone's reviews, you've seen everyone making fun of it (including Marvel themselves) and you even lived long enough to see it get retconned (Thanks, Nick Spencer). The story has it that in 2004, J. Michael Straczynski wanted to write a story about Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker's secret children that eventually tried to kill Peter... Odd, but okay. This is where Marvel's then editor-in-chief Joe Quesada comes in... So, Joe tells JMS that making Spider-Man have children would make the character seem like an old hag, and that would turn off new readers... Joe, I love you as much as I love my own son, but that is total bullshit, and you know it. You may be wondering, what happened last time? Well, Ezeki...

Ezekiel Sims, a character that has made me ask multiple questions like "What" or "huh", but he's been relatively nice for the last couple issues or so. Now, since this review was meant for people that have already READ the stories, try to imagine a little kid in April, 2004 that has just seen Spider-Man on DVD (Spidey 2 came out in late June), his parents buy him ("him" because girls don't read comics... Well, they don't read Spider-Man comics) a subscription to The Amazing Spider-Man, and THESE are his first 3 issues... Pretty confusing way to start reading, but hey, my first comic was "New Ways To Die", and I'm still a fan. The thing is that these issues are pretty weird, complicated and honestly kinda dark for the young Spidey fan... Luckily, I am not a young Spider-Man fan, so let's take a look at The Amazing Spider-Man #506 by J. Michael Straczynski and John Romita Jr. This is The Book Of Ezekiel, Chapter one. The cover s...

 Spider-Man. J. Michael Straczynski. John Romita Jr.  Believe it or not, issue 500 was NOT the end of the Spider-Man legend, there's still a bunch of loose ends to tie up and LOTS of stories to make, so here's The Amazing Spider-Man #501, which is pretty much a new beginning for our web-head, this was Brand New Day before Brand New Day. LAST TIME: Spidey celebrated his birthday by looking at his beginning and his demise happen at the same time in The drive to Issue 1000 started here... Wait, they were already planning issue 1000? This is the cover, by Tony Harris, whom you may remember because he drew the covers for issues 57 and 58 (498 and 499). It depicts Spider-Man swinging by, and a taxi driver watching... Yes, this is one of those boring covers, but do not fret, the end of the "Have Spider-Man do something cool" covers is near, only to come back for a little bit. The title of this one is "A Saturday In The Park With May", GEE, I WONDER WHAT THIS IS ABO...

This is AVENGERS 500! The beginning of a big storyline called "Disassembled". It looks promising enough. I only know about this story because of 2 different things. 1 is that I opened a Linkara video a few days ago, he was reviewing this comic, and he was like "OMG THIS COMIC SUCKS AAAA". Which is how all of his videos go nowadays, c'mon, cheer up. 2nd is the Spectacular Spider-Man storyline called "Changes", because it was somehow tied to this event.  AVENGERS: DISASSEMBLED. By Brian Michael Bendis and David Finch. How bad could this be?  First off, this storyline had a lot of tie-ins across various titles. Here is the list: - Iron Man. He does... Uhm... No clue - Thor. He fights Ragnarok. - Captain America. No clue. But Falcon was there - Fantastic Four. They fight the FRIGTFUL four- - The Spectacular Spider-Man. We'll get to this later. Right now, it's time to look at part 1 of CHAOS.  The cover looks okay, the Avengers are all rushing into ...

 Originally posted on January 18th, 2023 on a site that no one cared about. Hey there, today I'm going to review a spider-man comic (no one's done that before)  Now you might be thinking "how did i get here?" and the answer is "i don't know" but thank you for reading.  So, here is the cover for the issue I'm gonna review today. So, I have this Omnibus thingy that collects Ultimate Six (2004), Ultimate Spider-Man 54-59 and issue 46 for some reason. Which is really nice of Brian Michael Bendis to put this comic in this omnibus (yes i know marvel makes these decisions and not Bendis) This story features the sandman, who doesn't wear his iconic clothes, he's not wearing anything, and he doesn't look like a regular person who can turn into sand, he just looks like a human made of sand... Whatever. This story features Sharon Carter from S.H.I.E.L.D. and this new character called "Spider-Man", now i think this character will be forgott...