In The Mind of Spider-Plush

This is the uncensored version. For the censored cut without all the swearing and the mentions of sex, click here. There are only 4 certainties in life: Death, taxes, Burger King messing up my damn order and having a Spider-Man review site look at Sins Past. You've seen everyone's reviews, you've seen everyone making fun of it (including Marvel themselves) and you even lived long enough to see it get retconned (Thanks, Nick Spencer). The story has it that in 2004, J. Michael Straczynski wanted to write a story about Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker's secret children that eventually tried to kill Peter... Odd, but okay. This is where Marvel's then editor-in-chief Joe Quesada comes in... So, Joe tells JMS that making Spider-Man have children would make the character seem like an old hag, and that would turn off new readers... Joe, I love you as much as I love my own son, but that is total bullshit, and you know it. You may be wondering, what happened last time? Well, Ezeki...

Originally reviewed on Wix back on January 29th, 2023. Gwendolyn Stacy was a character from the Amazing Spider-Man comic series, she first appeared in issue... I don't remember, but it was a Ditko issue. She was gorgeous, she was charming, she was perfect in every way. For a while, she was Spider-Man's girlfriend. Oh, and I suppose Mary Jane was there too. Spider-Man's biggest enemy of all time is the Green Goblin, aka Norman Osborn, a scientist CEO dude that had a little lab accident and now has another personality that thinks about nothing but mischief. Little problems that were presented in the series prior to this issue: Green Goblin knows Spider-Man's secret identity and everyone he loves, meaning that he can attack anyone at any point to hurt Spider-Man's feelings. Gwen Stacy does not like Spider-Man, I don't think she ever did, and she really started to HATE him because she believed that it was Spider-Man who murdered her father, George Stacy. The behind-...

Ezekiel Sims, a character that has made me ask multiple questions like "What" or "huh", but he's been relatively nice for the last couple issues or so. Now, since this review was meant for people that have already READ the stories, try to imagine a little kid in April, 2004 that has just seen Spider-Man on DVD (Spidey 2 came out in late June), his parents buy him ("him" because girls don't read comics... Well, they don't read Spider-Man comics) a subscription to The Amazing Spider-Man, and THESE are his first 3 issues... Pretty confusing way to start reading, but hey, my first comic was "New Ways To Die", and I'm still a fan. The thing is that these issues are pretty weird, complicated and honestly kinda dark for the young Spidey fan... Luckily, I am not a young Spider-Man fan, so let's take a look at The Amazing Spider-Man #506 by J. Michael Straczynski and John Romita Jr. This is The Book Of Ezekiel, Chapter one. The cover s...

I once challenged myself by reading 100 issues of Spider-Man, and you wanna know how many I remember? About 20. I planned to review this one as part of the birthday special, but I didn't. This one is really interesting because, as Al Sjoerdsma from SpiderFan.org  puts it, "...when I first saw this issue on the revolving comic rack back in 1967, I was really worried. First of all, I was ten years old, which is to say I was gullible. And second, I had seen plenty of other comics series come and go, never to be seen again. Who's to say it couldn't happen to Spider-Man? He wasn't the icon that he is today."   Which is why I gotta be so thankful that I don't read comics as they come out, because if I was gullible and saw that my favorite comic was ending, I would cry all day, I don't blame Al for thinking that. This comic features Spider-Man quitting, it's a moment that has been adapted... Well, actually not enough times! But the most memorable moment c...

 Spider-Man. J. Michael Straczynski. John Romita Jr.  Believe it or not, issue 500 was NOT the end of the Spider-Man legend, there's still a bunch of loose ends to tie up and LOTS of stories to make, so here's The Amazing Spider-Man #501, which is pretty much a new beginning for our web-head, this was Brand New Day before Brand New Day. LAST TIME: Spidey celebrated his birthday by looking at his beginning and his demise happen at the same time in The drive to Issue 1000 started here... Wait, they were already planning issue 1000? This is the cover, by Tony Harris, whom you may remember because he drew the covers for issues 57 and 58 (498 and 499). It depicts Spider-Man swinging by, and a taxi driver watching... Yes, this is one of those boring covers, but do not fret, the end of the "Have Spider-Man do something cool" covers is near, only to come back for a little bit. The title of this one is "A Saturday In The Park With May", GEE, I WONDER WHAT THIS IS ABO...

I made a mistake recently... I didn't upload a post between parts 1 and 2 of DDLC! Which is why I'm getting this post ready.  Lemme give you a little background... Idk, I just decided to read the first 100 issues of Amazing Spider-Man one day, and these stood out. This is The Amazing Spider-Man #86, by Stan Lee and John Romita Sr., a classic from July of 1970, an instant key issue because this marks the 33rd appearance of the Black Widow, instant Spidey Essential, if you ask me! Who is the Black Widow? I can't tell you that just yet. Anyway, the cover shows Spidey swinging while the Black Widow's silhouette towers over him. I have seen this cover hundreds of times and not once have I noticed the cops on the lower right. The Black Widow, also known as the Latrodectus is a spider that are incredibly notorious due to their incredibly potent venom that can immediately kill a fat fuck like you, so watch out if you're in the wilderness... Bet no one has done that joke bef...

TIMELINE OF THIS REVIEW: I was at the supermarket with my mom, and she got me a Spider-Man comic titled "The Real Clone Saga". Years later, I went to Carls Jr. to order the new Thunderbolts Promotional Burger combo. The only thing these things have in common is that I'm reviewing them today. First off, the easiest one to explain. Marvel's Thunderbolts are a bunch of guys that no one knows put together on a superhero team. They got a movie recently that I haven't seen but I probably will soon. In order to promote this movie, Mexican Carls Jr. restaurants are serving "The Team Burger", which is a combo consisting of a Burger with a special sauce, fries, and a cup for your beverage of choice.  There's actually 2 ways to have this burger, one is the small version with small fries, a burger with one patty and a small soda, and the other is well... How do I put this... A burger with 2 patties, large fries and a large soda. I ordered the former because I ha...

The review NO ONE was asking for, the comic that EVERYONE loves. A little background first...  The early 2000's were big years for Spider-Man, he had a new movie coming out, the Amazing Spider-Man series was doing well with Sins Past... Ok, maybe it wasn't doing well, but JMS was still a good writer for the series. Ultimate Spider-Man was doing pretty well, and Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale did something incredible, a mini-series that takes us back to when Gwendolyn Stacy was still alive, and when Mary Jane first showed up. Jeph Loeb is a pretty controversial figure in Marvel, but this is generally considered to be one of his best works. Tim Sale, beloved artist that did some incredible art on stories like Batman: The Long Halloween, Superman: For All Seasons, Hulk: Gray, Daredevil: Yellow, and of course, this story. He unfortunately passed away in 2022. Tim, wherever you are, we all love you and your amazing work. A bit of a mandela effect, though it could be just me misremembering s...