The West Coast Avengers vs. ME! (Triple Feature)
Remember the West Coast Avengers? Wow, weren't they great? They were just like McDonalds; they're alright and sometimes kinda shitty.
LAST TIME: Kate was looking for someone for her superhero team that ISN'T the WCA, she found Gwen Poole, ok, then they went back home, and Quentin Quire joined the team with his trusty ol' camera crew, and then they fought Tigra. And after that they found a guy named Bronkey Kong or whatever his name was, and it's MODOK in disguise but they took him home anyways because I don't remember, and then Kate and Clint went to a lab, and then they heard a sound, and then Quentin kissed Gwen, and then I forgot what else happened, but the review was over and I reviewed Young Avengers Presents (aka YAP) #6. All in a day's work.
Dude, I felt like a stupid little kid explaining a movie to his parents. But I'm gonna feel like an unprofessional comic book critic when I review issues 3 and 4 of WCA (2018). by Kelly Thompson and Stefano Caselli.
Kate and Fuse are chilling in bed, it's all cozy and shit and then GIANT TIGRA SHOWS UP AND RIPS OFF THE FUCKING CEILING HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Gosh, looks like the WCA are gonna have to do something about this. How are they gonna fix their ceiling, though, that's what I'm worried about, not the fact that thousands of people's lives are currently in danger. I GOTTA PRIORITIZE HERE, what are they gonna do when it rains?
2 consecutive splash pages that I didn't read later, and LA is looking like a warzone with tons of destruction. They're trying to figure out a way to stop 6 monsters from turning the West Coast into footprint-land, but honestly, I'm not sure if they even know what they're doing. But yeah, MODOK was definitely BRODOK. What a shock, I haven't been this surprised since I found out that Kraven The Hunter flopped.
Quentin saves Gwen from becoming a big red stain on the ground and then he talks to the interviewee about how he doesn't know Gwen's powers. As for me, the editor of this site and fan number 2329 of Gwenpool, I know her powers and I also know that they don't work as well in titles that are not her own... Narcissistic bitch needs everything to be about her, get outta here.
The WCA are fighting and shit and they ask Quentin if he's alright and he doesn't know (He is. He's just being dramatic), and while all of this shit is happening, Kate is at an A.I.M. lab with MODOK or BRODOK or I don't even know anymore and Kate turns into a giant hawk. 2 more comics to go in this little triple feature.
Man, I'm on the edge of my seat, I wonder if they're gonna win! That issue was just a big fight scene, not more to say, 6/10. My arm was itchy. Let's move on.
This is the cover, as you can see, Lucky is winking at us, America destroyed her shoe, Fuse's suit has a hole in a very unfortunate place, don't know what Hawkeye (the cute one) is doing, Kate is covered in seaweed and a starfish, and let's ignore what those two are doing in the background.
MODOK has turned himself back into a giant square, the WCA win against the monster guys. They also met Kate's bestie, who was apparently also brought into the reality show because they interview her. So after the whole monsters thing is resolved, the interviewers have more time for... Interviews. Gwen and Quentin are not dating (they are), Fuse finds out about America dating his sister, Kate realizes that she might have brought back the West Coast Avengers, and she also has a Born In The U.S.A. ringtone.
Jimmy Kimmel live! Wow, he's here to ruin another comic, like how he did with issue 900 of Amazing Spider-Man. Kate gives the most confident response and it's now confirmed that THE WEST COAST AVENGERS ARE BACK! Wow. Or even wowzers. Oh, some other characters are there, and they don't seem pleased but who cares, the comic is OVER. AND SO IS THE TRADE PAPERBACK.
Some might complain that I forgot details or that I didn't go into detail about anything but I have my reasons and my excuses. 5/10. Not as good as the other issues, and other reasons. What reasons, you ask? Respect my privacy, shithead.
What do I think about the series so far? It's alright. It's ok for reading something that isn't Spider-Man. As I mentioned in the last post, this Trade has 2 more comics, one of them I already looked at, the other is Gwenpool #1 by Christopher Hastings, drawn by Danilo Beyruth and Gurihiru. But that comic is a real stinker, so we'll be looking at that some other time.
ISSUE 5 BABY!!!
This issue was drawn by Daniele Di Nicuolo, and written by the same flipping writer. These lazy fucks, go save the world instead of playing [I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED], sheesh.
Kate is interviewed and she says something about Captain America being pissed about the WCA because... Anyway, the WCA have met GRIDLOCK, a man that uses magnetism as a superpower. Quentin does something actually cool and useful with his powers, and Gwen saves a cat. YIPPEEEE. They're back at their HQ that is really just a house in LA, and Gwen decides that she's gonna name this cat "Jeff". Here's a list of why this is stupid as shit:
1. YOU STOLE SOMEONE'S CAT
2. NO, DON'T CALL IT JEFF, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU'RE FORESHADOWING SOMETHING, NOOOOO.
Anyway, the WCA go to... An old theme park in the middle of Santa Monica to investigate something that I forgot to read... So, it's some unspecified suspicious activity. BUT IT WASN'T THE MAYOR, It was Madame Masque, now if you excuse me, I'm gonna interrupt the review to tell you who the hell Madame Masque is and what she does.
She's a criminal strategist and she has no powers, and she can... I don't care, let's move on.
They call America, who is at a non-abandoned theme park with Fuse's sis, but the situation at the shitty old one is more important. Quentin tries to leave, but this is like the Simpsons movie in the way that this is on a dome. They're not gonna divide, but they do anyways because some magic shit just happened. Quentin and Gwen are in the tunnel of love or whatever the hell that is, but it's a pretty crazy coincidence. Also, someone shows up and electrocutes them to death... Or just electrocutes them unconscious, seeing how they have more appearances after this one.
America and Clint got the funhouse, with all the mirrors and stuff... Y'know what this reminds me of? Spidey Super Stories issue 33, where the Hulk is stopped because Spidey turned on the laughing gas and the Hulk was laughing at himself. You should read the review by someone else on SpiderFan. Anyway, some white chick pops out of the mirror and just smooches both of them on the lips... Seems to be a common theme with this series. So far, the only person to not get smooched is the reader, because the reader is a lonely piece of shit. Oh, and by the way, Clint and America are fucking dead... I should call that mirror lady.
Kate, Fuse and his sis are all at the haunted house and SHIT STARTS BLOWING UP OH MY GOSH!!!! Anyway, there's an expensive hole in the ground and Kate can't seem to get out... But her mother shows up to help, this could be a hallucination or a hologram, but if that's the case, Kate's gonna kick the ass of whoever did this, but for now, she's just gonna reunite with her mother, real or not, how sweet. Issue's over.
I'm gonna be honest when I say that this series is only okay, 7/10, however, it does seem to be getting a little bit better with every issue. I do legit want to see what happens with the rest of the series. Well, 5 issues left, I'll probably continue these reviews when I renew my Marvel Unlimited subscription, but until then... BYE LOSER.
Next up on the list is the Feb 10 post, and after that is the Valentine's Day special.
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