Spidey Joins The Avengers!

Earth's Mightiest Heroes, the Avengers, a team that EVERYONE and their brother knows, unless you're some fucking lunatic weirdo psycho that grew up reading about the Justice League of America. Sidenote, why are they called the Justice League of America if they protect more than just America? That's kinda silly.

So, can you really call Spider-Man an "Avenger"? Eh, depends on the day, I never saw Spider-Man as part of a team, I mean, sure, he's worked with teams before, but he's always been a loner to me, no sidekick, no team, no nothing, just made him more relatable because sometimes you just gotta do things by yourself.

Like I did for Sins Past, I'm gonna look at something similar to what I'm gonna be reviewing next for the JMS retrospective, so I looked for one of the earliest meetings between the Avengers and Spider-Man.

So, in order to coincide with Spidey moving into Avengers tower in issue 519, I chose to review the one time Spidey actually DID want to join the team, in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #3, by Stan Lee, John Romita Sr. and Don Heck.

The cover promises us that Spidey will face the mighty Avengers... I recognize all of them except for that blue and yellow guy, who the fuck is that? Is that Giant-Man? Also, I've seen this cover hundreds of times and not once have I noticed that Wasp is flying towards Spidey, hi Janet! Anyway, Hulk is holding Spider-Man in a biiiig nice hug and Spidey is like "Bro, I don't like affection". Also, this issue is only a king size special because it has reprints of Spider-Man 11 and 12, which sounds lame, but it's absolutely great for me, who doesn't care about reprints much as long as the full story is there.

The story begins with Spider-Man... Just kidding! It begins with a poster of Spider-Man in the room of the Avengers; they must be big fans! They have been studying Spider-Man for a little bit in order to find out if he's good enough to be part of the team. Wasp, says something along the lines of "Fuck no, wasps are natural enemies of spiders, so therefore I hate Spider-Man". What, are you afraid Spider-Man's gonna eat you or something? Grow the fuck up, Wasp.

So, The Avengers decide to test Spidey to see if he can join the team, but they need to contact him, so they call Daredevil through... Radio waves, and they ask him if Spider-Man is good enough for the job, and he says yes because they've teamed up in the past in a comic that I didn't read.

Thor finds Spidey and lets him know that he will be tested in order to get one of the highest honors... Being a part of the Avengers! Well, y'know, if this was like, 197-something or 2012, maybe I could see that being one of the highest honors, but the Avengers were fairly new in 1966, so I doubt that being a member was THAT high of an honor. He has 24 hours to show up at Avengers mansion... Sure, because everyone knew where that was located in 1966.

Spidey changes back into his civies to struggle with his daily life as usual, but it is at the end of the day when he decides "I've had it, this is my destiny, I'm gonna be a fuckin Avenger, I mean, worst they can say is no!"

Spider-Man enters Avengers tower through... The door? The window? I don't know, but they all greet him with open arms, except for Janet, who says TO SPIDEY'S FACE "Spider-Man will never be my favorite person"... Well, Peter, you can't win Wasp's respect, but you'll always be MY favorite person. 

This test is off to a great start because Spider-Man and Iron Man immediately start arguing after Iron Man asks him to leave the room for a second to discuss how they're gonna test Spider-Man, and Spidey is almost ready to fight! Well, what a nice guy, I'm sure he'll be accepted into the team after this! Oh, and then Hawkeye says something stupid and everyone starts fighting. That's the first test done, and after that wonderful scene, the Avengers decide that it's time for another test... 

They are gonna make Spider-Man bring THE HULK! Why? They never tell him, but Spider-Man agrees to do it because hey, it'll be his ONLY chance to join the team! 

So, Spidey stops by the Daily Bugle to grab a nice refreshing cup of water and also bother J. Jonah Jameson, who is obviously not very amused to see Spider-Man just casually chilling in his office. Oh, and then Frederick Foswell shows up to let Jonah know that the Hulk has been spotted near a Gamma Radiation Research Center, and Spidey makes his way there.

Here's one thing the Avengers nor Spider-Man didn't consider... HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA BRING A 7 FOOT GREEN MUSCLED MAN TO AVENGERS TOWER? Anyway, the Hulk and Spider-Man begin their epic brawl, and while the Hulk smashes, he accidentally gets hit with Gamma rays and turns back into Bruce Banner... Wouldn't that kill him or make him a stronger Hulk? Not sure.

Spidey realizes that everyone that comes after the Hulk only wants to either kill him or capture him, and wonders if that's why the Avengers wanted Spidey to bring poor Hulk... So, instead of bringing him to the HQ, he lets the Hulk go and let him be chased by Thunderbolt Ross.

Welp, Spidey has come back to Avengers HQ empty-handed to let them know "Yeah bruh, I couldn't find the Hulk, I'll go solo now".

And it is revealed that instead of wanting to kill the Hulk, the Avengers wanted to HELP him... Uh-huh, and why didn't you fucking specify? This story could've gone differently if you guys could properly explain yourselves, you fucking idiots. Oh, and even better, they only tell us the reason why they wanted the Hulk in the tower AFTER Spider-Man leaves. EARTH'S MIGHTIEST HEROES, EVERYONE.

Peter goes back home and stays miserable for a couple hours, and then the issue ends.

That issue was... Something, alright. This is something that only a silver-age story can bring you, but there are some CRAZY fucking problems, first of all, it feels like everyone in this story left some of their braincells at home, especially the Avengers. And why was Spider-Man so angry when he met The Avengers? Just because Iron Man said, "could you leave for a second?" Just seems a bit out of character for him to just get angry and attack like that. The artwork was pretty damn good; Don Heck and John Romita both did a good job. Overall, I guess it's fine. 7/10.

Footnotes:

- Spider-Man would later on join the team a few times, I'm pretty sure he even had his own ID at some point.

- This wouldn't be the first time that Spidey met the Avengers, he made a cameo on issue 3 and he made a pretty bizarre appearance in issue 12, when Kang made a Spider-man robot to attack the Avengers... Not sure why specifically Spider-Man, I don't see him as the kinda guy that would be able to beat all of the Avengers, but hey, whatever floats his boat. 

- This would also NOT be the first time that Spider-Man meets the Hulk, as seen in The Amazing Spider-Man #14, when Spidey and the Enforcers and the Green Goblin enter a cave where the Hulk was hiding. You remember that?

- This story was printed before the Hulk's identity got revealed to the people of the Marvel Universe.

- This issue apparently takes place between Amazing Spider-Man 43 and 44... That being said, it was printed between issues 41 and 42.

- In the MCU, this book was not really adapted, so they instead opted to have Iron Man tell Peter "You're an Avenger now" (Avengers: Infinity War). It didn't last long because then Spider-Man died, but then he was brought back, but after that the Avengers dissolved (Endgame) but they sorta didn't (There's 2 more movies coming soon) and then everyone forgot that Peter Parker ever existed (Spider-Man: No Way Home) and he just seems to be doing his own solo thing (Brand New Day)