Avengers: Disappointed (Review)

This is AVENGERS 500! The beginning of a big storyline called "Disassembled". It looks promising enough. I only know about this story because of 2 different things. 1 is that I opened a Linkara video a few days ago, he was reviewing this comic, and he was like "OMG THIS COMIC SUCKS AAAA". Which is how all of his videos go nowadays, c'mon, cheer up. 2nd is the Spectacular Spider-Man storyline called "Changes", because it was somehow tied to this event. 

AVENGERS: DISASSEMBLED. By Brian Michael Bendis and David Finch. How bad could this be? 

First off, this storyline had a lot of tie-ins across various titles. Here is the list:

- Iron Man. He does... Uhm... No clue

- Thor. He fights Ragnarok.

- Captain America. No clue. But Falcon was there

- Fantastic Four. They fight the FRIGTFUL four-

- The Spectacular Spider-Man. We'll get to this later.

Right now, it's time to look at part 1 of CHAOS. 

The cover looks okay, the Avengers are all rushing into action. 

The issue begins with half of the team (Hawkeye, Wasp, Ant-Man, She-Hulk, British) talking about how HOT Madame Hydra is... What a way to begin your 500th issue. Anyway, the security alarm goes off... Wonder how that could happen? Well, the previously thought deceased Jack of Hearts has showed up for a nice greeting, a greeting that includes blowing the fuck up. Scott Lang died. 

The rest of the Avengers (Iron Man, Captain America, The Scarlet Witch and Yellowjacket) are at an important meeting with the United Nations. Tony starts feeling drunk... Which is weird because he has been sober for decades. After embarrassing the team in front of the UN (Useless Nimrods), they go back to the tower... Or what's left of it to see what the hell happened. 

Sucks to be them, everything is blowing up! Turns out that the Vision has gone rogue, and the team is about to be punished. Vision begins to melt to reveal a bunch of Ultrons. The Avengers would be pretty lame if they couldn't stop a few Ultrons, so they kick them in the processors and win! Except She-Hulk is pissed about this and goes savage. It looks like Captain America is doomed! 

Everything goes dark. "Is it over?" No, there's still a few pages left. "They are many and they have so much to answer for" What? "We should just kill them and be done with it" I feel like I shouldn't be seeing this. "What would that prove? It has no meaning that way. You're so stupid" I would've smacked this person. "But the answer is no. It isn't over" Figured, this is only part one!

This issue... 6/10. I like the art, I like the colors, I sorta like the premise... That's about it. I wouldn't say this was a big milestone issue.

501!!!

Another picture of the Avengers looking cool.

Iron Man resigns as whatever his position was. After that, he goes to Avengers Pothole to see what's going on. They finally stop She-Hulk and they all go heal up and process what just happened.

The Avengers are all healing up. Wasp is at the hospital, Scott Lang is dead, She-Hulk is on S.H.I.E.L.D. custody, and the other guys are arguing. Iron Man leaves after ONE guy (Hawkeye) doesn't believe that this all may be connected and maybe they're under attack... Hawkeye (the cute one), buddy, you seriously do NOT believe that you guys could be getting attacked? What are you, some kind of idiot? Hawkeye and Cap both go and meet up with the other Avengers. I now proceed to list them all:

• The Fantastic Four
• Spider-Woman
• Moon Knight
• Namor
• Black Panther
• JOCASTA
• Daredevil
• Tigra
• Wonder Man
• Falcon
• Hercules
• Ms. Marvel
• Hellcat
• Nick Fury.
• Guys I don't recognize
• Spider-Man.

Issue's over. It was alright. Lightbringer said in his video description that this would piss me the hell off, but I don't know, I'm a big fan of the Avengers, but I am not as pissed as I wanted to be. Though it's bad. Not horrible, but bad. 5/10.

Issue 502!!! 

ONE OF THESE AVENGERS WILL DIE! Yellowjacket has already died in the 70's... Wasp won't die until Secret Invasion... It's either Hawkeye or Scarlet Witch 

Oh. My. God. EVERYTHING IS SO RED. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW BIG WAS THIS EXPLOSION? WHY IS THE BUILDING ON FIRE? WHY DO THEY ALL SHOW UP AND ALREADY LEAVE- Let's move on. The Avengers are sold out because of Drunk Tony, and they are understandably pissed.

HOW MUCH SHIT IS GOING ON? The Kree show up and try to end the Avengers... Despite the fact that 99% of the people here are NOT the Avengers. Uh-oh. Hawkeye has explosive arrows, and he gets hit by a lazer... Oh, he just throws the arrows at the Kree spaceship. 

Dr. Strange shows up! Wow, he's so cool. The issue ends... Oh, well, bye.

TOO MUCH RED. TOO MUCH SHIT. 5/10.

Final issue.

The Avengers have disappeared except for Captain America. yeah, this cover is cool.

Wasp and Scarlet Witch are both sunbathing and drinking alcohol on broad daylight. Thankfully, it's not red. Wasp thought she was preggers, but she wasn't. Then she goes on a tipsy rant on how superheroes like the Avengers shouldn't have children. And she reminds Wanda of how she used to have 2 children... 

CONTEXT: Wanda had children, then she lost them and forgot about them, but then she remembered... However, it seems like she forgot again for the sake of this story, because she's pissed and wants to know where they went. Rookie mistake by Bendis.

Back to red, Dr. Strange is talking about how maybe a mystic character could've orchestrated this. Spider-Man (who was there) takes the opportunity to make a goofy remark. OMG, what's with this story and making characters say stupid shit? 

Yeah, Wanda could've done this. Oh, and she did this. She also makes Cap go through a 1940's flashback. In fact, she makes all the Avengers fight illusions of foes like the Hulk, Wolverine, Rogue, other guys. 

And then Dr. Strange knocks out Wanda and shit. Oh, and by the way, Magneto shows up to take his daughter to... I don't know.

The Avengers are sad, the end.

It's crap. 4/10. This issue, and this entire storyline feel like a first draft. 3 points for the art and for trying. .5 points for Spider-Man and other .5 points because Wasp was HOT in that flashback!

Wasn't that just an adventure? Well, 3 of the Avengers died, some are comatose, this is the end of the series, it's very depressing. But Spidey's appearance makes it all okay.