Spidey is ILL.

I made a mistake recently... I didn't upload a post between parts 1 and 2 of DDLC! Which is why I'm getting this post ready. 

Lemme give you a little background...

Idk, I just decided to read the first 100 issues of Amazing Spider-Man one day, and these stood out.

This is The Amazing Spider-Man #86, by Stan Lee and John Romita Sr., a classic from July of 1970, an instant key issue because this marks the 33rd appearance of the Black Widow, instant Spidey Essential, if you ask me! Who is the Black Widow? I can't tell you that just yet. Anyway, the cover shows Spidey swinging while the Black Widow's silhouette towers over him. I have seen this cover hundreds of times and not once have I noticed the cops on the lower right.

The Black Widow, also known as the Latrodectus is a spider that are incredibly notorious due to their incredibly potent venom that can immediately kill a fat fuck like you, so watch out if you're in the wilderness... Bet no one has done that joke before, I'll be a pioneer! 

Natasha Romanova is a russian spy with the amazing superpower of... Well, I don't know, but she was trained in the Red Room all the way in Russia, some of you may remember the Red Room for being that one place where NADIA VAN DYNE was raised, yes, Nadia is way more memorable than the Black Widow. Anyway, Natasha or Natalia or whatever first appeared in Tales Of Suspense #52, all the way back in 1964, she was created by Don Heck and Stan Lee, and she's been appearing in comics ever since. Her origin was actually derived from... Some historical event, I don't know, they stopped teaching history in my school long ago... Oh, and feminism too, seeing as she was one of the first female superheroes to not depend on a man, though eventually she did date some other characters that don't show up on this issue of Amazing Spider-Man... Hey, did you know that we're reviewing an issue of The Amazing Spider-Man?

Nothing like cracking open a copy of Amazing Spider-Man by Stan Lee and John Romita Sr., right? Well, our story begins with Spider-Man still feeling the blow he took when he had to fight the Kingpin in the last issue. He swings so fast that he doesn't seem to notice the Black Widow. All while Stan tells us that this comic will be the best fucking thing I've ever read in my life, seriously, he does this with everything he writes.

Back in the day, the Black Widow was more spider and less femme fatale, apparently because she also swings through the city like the ol' webhead. She swings home and reminisces about the time when she met the Iron Man, Hawkeye (the cute one) and stuff, while Stan tells us via the editor's note that he doesn't remember what comic this was from... Because, y'know, it's not like you have the book in the archives or something, right Stan? Aw, who am I kidding, these archives at the Marvel offices clearly suck because they somehow didn't have a copy of Amazing Spider-Man #29 until 1984 and they COULDN'T reprint it. And if they don't have that, who knows what else they're missing.

So, while Natasha remembers all the good times she had with her old costume, she starts designing a brand new, less ridiculous costume. Meanwhile, Spidey changes to his civies and greets Gwen Stacy, George Stacy and Harry Osborn. Gwen notices that Peter has some bruises and she's obviously concerned, so she tells him to never get involved with Spider-Man again, to which Peter replies by saying "Yes, dear Gwen, I will try to keep myself safe from that sack of shit Spider-Man", just kidding, he's speechless. Though, he does ponder about whether or not he's finally losing his sanity with his double life? 

Meanwhile, The Black Widow is finally donning her more memorable black leather outfit and goes for a swing. She passes by the Daily Bugle building, and J. Jonah Jameson notices her and instantly thinks "Sheesh, another fucking webslinger" Just wait for issue 66, Jonah.

To get his mind off of whatever just happened, Peter decides to study for a bit, but he cannot concentrate, which is something that happens to me often, and decides to go for a swing in his Spider-Man outfit... Which is also something that happens to me often. He also passes by the Daily Bugle to say hi to Jonah, and then he swings by to see how Aunt May is doing... May is clearly horrified to see the horrible face of Spider-Man at her window, but she also thinks that maybe she was seeing things.

As Spidey swings by, Natasha shoots Spider-Man unprompted with her "Widow's bite" tool... What a bitch! And so, a battle begins, and Spider-Man says "A female! One that I never saw before!" which is an odd comment. You wanna know why the Black Widow is attacking Spider-Man? To prove that she is her equal, which is not even true because Spider-Man has powers and she relies on technology, but sure, more female superheroes! So, Natasha notices that Spider-Man is actually weaker than her, and she ties him up... EW, BONDAGE! Anyway, Spider-Man makes another remark "No curvy carbon copy is gonna swipe my style!" Way to go, Spidey! Women SUCK at being Spider-Man. Jokes aside, he kept really quiet when all the Spider-Women appeared years later, maybe he changed his mind.

Natasha runs away (or swings away) and we'll never hear from her again unless we buy some other comic that won't be as good as Spidey's comic. As Spidey begins his way home, he realizes that he's somehow feeling weaker! He can't swing straight, think straight, or do anything straight, so he enters a lab to see if his powers are going away, to be continued next issue.

FOOTNOTE: Spider-Man and Black Widow ended up kissing in one issue of Marvel Team-Up, and then Black Widow ate him, and Spider-Man died. 

The first thing I notice when reading this book is the art, it is pretty damn good, it really shows how John Romita Sr.'s art has evolved ever since he first drew Spider-Man back in that one issue of Daredevil that I didn't read. The premise of the story itself isn't bad, having Spidey fight against a female foe is something that was brand new at the time... Though, I suppose it does feel a little bit dated... Which is to be expected for a comic book written in 1970 and reviewed in 2025. 7/10. This isn't one of those silly little silver-age books to make fun of, this is one of those Spidey books to read while smoking a pipe, wearing a robe, and drinking a nice cup of coffee. Oh, and Natasha is HOT!

The review's not over yet, let's have a big ol' look at the next issue by the same guys.

This is the cover, still with the old watermark from Marvel.com, I really like the tagline for Marvel in the late 2000's, they had this cool epic voice that said "MARVEL, YOUR UNIVERSE" But that has nothing to do with the cover, featuring Peter Parker revealing his secret to everyone.

Peter is about to look up the microscope, and he finds the most horrible sight... His vision is blurry! So he goes for a swing. Peter's supposed to be a genius, right? Why does he go swinging if he can't see very well? Whatever, he enters a jewelry store because he forgot to get a gift for Gwen Stacy's birthday, so he almost steals a pearl necklace before coming to his senses and putting it back. 

While leaving the building, he stumbles and falls, which is something that hasn't happened to him in a while. This is what makes him wonder if Spider-Man is through, is he finally done?

Whatever, over at Gwen's birthday party, everyone's waiting for Peter to show up, and when he finally does, he just tells everyone "Hi, I'm actually Spider-Man, and I'm also done" and runs away. Jerk. They all reminisce about the time when Doc Ock revealed Spider-Man's identity, but no one believed it (way back in issue 12 or 13, I don't remember), and they're all confused/sad about this strange turn of events.

Peter decides that he's finally sick of being sick and goes to a doctor, which is a scene that has been adapted in a few cartoons. Well, this is the moment we've all been waiting for, is Spider-Man cooked? Are his powers going away? Is Peter Parker finally gonna lead a normal life? GOD, I AM DYING TO KNOW! WHAT IS THE DOCTOR GONNA TELL HIM? WHY WAS THE WAITING ROOM EMPTY?

Well, as soon as I flip the page, we're all gonna find out... Ready? Cool, I'm not, be patient... Okay, I'm ready, what does Spider-Man have? Well, the doctor says he's pregnant. Just kidding! Spider-Man has the worst case of the flu that this doctor has seen in years! Spidey is instantly relieved hearing this, no kidding, I mean, he's fine! He doesn't have the flu anymore! Just one more thing... Spidey, you revealed your big secret to everybody, how are you gonna fix this?

As it turns out, I cannot talk to Spider-Man, because I am him, but my question is answered as Spider-Man pays a visit to Hobie Brown, formerly known as the Prowler. Peter kindly asks Hobie for a favor, and that is to wear a stupid red and blue onesie and tell everyone at Gwen's birthday that Peter isn't Spider-Man. 

At the Stacy home, everyone starts asking Peter what the fuck just happened until Spider-Man shows up to clear the air and fool everyone into thinking that Peter Parker and Spider-Man are 2 completely different people. Everyone's happy, and Peter went home and took a nap. The next issue promising to feature Doc Ock. 

Wooooow, that issue was just so good. Where do I begin? From the start, DUH! Eddie, you 300 IQ bastard. The artwork is fantastic, just like in the last issue, definitely profile picture worthy. The story is just iconic and it would only work with Spider-Man, no other superhero could pull off this story, you don't see Batman catching a cold, or Superman facing allergies after being exposed to strange materia- Wait... Well, the point still stands, ONLY Spider-Man could have this drama. This story also does a good job at showing that Spider-Man does have weaknesses. It's just so good. I like to read this issue while I'm also ill, just makes me feel like I'm not alone. 10/10.

Next time: I'll probably play DDLC again.