Reviewing things I haven't seen!
That new Spider-Man TV show just came out, but I don't have Disney+, everyone's talking about it and I don't want to be an outcast, so I'm gonna do the ballsiest thing ever, I'm gonna lose my credibility as a reviewer! I bet the other review sites are gonna be so proud of me...
Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, written by Jeff Trammel and directed by Mel Zwyer, a show inspired by the comic book titled "Spider-Man", and also a little bit inspired by the MCU films featuring "Spider-Man", it was announced somewhere around 2022, and the first 2 episodes were released yesterday. Man, I remember when we thought the show was NEVER coming out.
First of all, the intro features a rap song that samples the 1967 Spider-Man theme song. The track is titled "Neighbor Like Me"by the Match Club (featuring Relaye and Melo Makes Music... Okay, Melo, now I know that you make music and not sandwiches). Let's talk about this theme song. First off, did you know that this is a show about Spider-Man? and a cartoon? That's why they sample 67 Spidey. You may say "You weren't complaining about the 94 show! or the PS1 game!" First off, I am not complaining, Second, the 94 cartoon does NOT sample the old theme, the song is actually new and they even change the lyrics. Third, I was not complaining, the theme song for this new TV show is actually okay, but they could've tried harder. I rolled my eyes so hard when the guy said, "I'M SPECTACULAR, ULTIMATE OR AMAZING", just in case you DIDN'T know, those are adjectives used in Spider-Man titles. But I guess it's okay for a song about Spider-Man... Best Spidey related song is still "Ode to a Superhero" by Al Yankovic.
This is the third 3D Spider-Man show and the second to use cel-shading, making it look like a comic book... Though, I don't think they did enough to tell the audience that this is a comic book show, maybe use more panels and corner boxes, maybe just use speech bubbles! Now, I know what you're thinking, "You weren't complaining about the Ultimate Spider-Man game or the Spider-Verse movies", and to that I respond with... Yes, I did complain about Spider-Verse, but about the USM game... That game uses the comic aesthetic for cutscenes only, and it uses the aesthetic from a 2000's comic, not like this show, which tries too hard to remind us that this is supposed to be a show about a comic from the 1960's. Hey, why don't you just go back to Spidey Super Stories and make Peter talk exclusively in speech bubbles!
One thing that confused me... If you're trying to make this show look like a comic book and feel like a motion comic book... Perhaps you should adapt the comics? I have no problem with the redesigns and race-swapping they did with some of the characters, but I'm mad with how they chose to adapt Spider-Man's origin. Peter had the homemade costume for less than 4 pages in the original, why have him in the shitty costume for 2 episodes? Why not adapt Spidey's origin properly? In the original, he got the spider powers at a laboratory, he used the powers for showbiz, he made a mistake which led to the death of his uncle, this is where he learned the power and responsibility thing... In this cartoon? Dr. Strange opens a portal to another dimension and there just so happens to be a spider that comes out of the portal and bites Pete, oh, and Uncle Ben was already dead... Peter just decides to use his powers for good... Like in Spidey Super Stories #1. I get that you're not trying to adapt the origin again because everyone already knows the story but if that's the case, why not just start off with an already established Spider-Man? It's just confusing to me.
It's time to address the elephant in the room. A day prior to release, Hudson Thames (Voice of Peter Parker) said in an interview that he feared the show was gonna be "annoying and woke", now, if he did mean it in a derogatory way... Bad news buddy, the show has a very diverse cast of characters, which is something that Spider-Man always had in his comics and other cartoons. Now, I believe that he could've misspoken, and he probably didn't mean to say "woke" but I think that having the voice actor of THE MAIN CHARACTER saying this and facing controversy ONE DAY before the release of your show is fucking hilarious. However, I do not think we should be calling this show "The next Spider-Man: Lotus", one bad cast member doesn't really ruin a project... Unlike LOTUS, where the director, main actor and main villain were all racist and allegedly Warden Wayne was a diddy ahh blud...
Just like Warden Wayne, Hudson sucks as Spider-Man's VA, that's nothing against the guy, but his voice sounds like my idiot classmates... Well, y'know, I guess it fits for a high schooler, but he just doesn't sound good to me... It seems like Marvel doesn't know how to cast a VA for their most popular character sometimes. Again, nothing against the VAs, I'm sure they're trying their best, which is appreciated, but I just don't like how they sound.
Story-wise, the premise is interesting (I had the plot vaguely explained by Camden), but I wouldn't be able to tell you what I think of the execution because I don't have Disney+, the animation looks... okay. But the show gets a big 6/10. I could go the rest of my life without watching it.
Another thing I haven't tried is Marvel Rivals (my computer is a hunk of shit), and since it seems that everyone in the fucking world is playing this except for me, I might as well review that too.
Marvel Rivals is a game by NetEase Games, it's inspired by the franchise of "Marvel", it's sorta an overwatch type game, from what I know of the game. The characters featured in the game are:
- Spider-Man (Of course, it's a Marvel game)
- The Hulk (coolest guy)
- Iron Man (eh, he's alright)
- Captain America (I'm a TeamCap kinda guy)
- Dr. Strange (he's cool)
- Squirrel Girl (I saw her in a comic once)
- Luna Snow (???)
- Peni Parker (why tho)
- Rocket Raccoon (furry)
- Groot (treey)
- Star-Lord (humany)
- Adam Warlock (I heard he's cool)
- Psylocke (I knew about her before this game)
- Loki (I saw 0 episodes of his Disney+ show)
- Namor (Aquaman)
- Thor (eh)
- Punisher (I don't like him)
- Jeff The Land Shark (Little shit)
- The Invisible Woman (my wife)
- Mr. Fantastic (me)
- The Thing (luv him)
- The Human Torch ( )
- VENOM!!!! (goated)
- Storm (goated)
- Wolverine (he's everywhere)
- Dr. Doom (he was everywhere)
- Cloak and Dagger (I know them)
- Hawkeye (the cute one)
- THERE'S TOO MANY CHARACTERS
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