Talking about this damn character one last time. (Random Hour: After-Post)
MUUUSTAAARD!!!!
What does that even mean? I don't know.
Welcome to another edition of Random Hour: After Post Edition. This time I'm talking about that Gwenpool post that came out not too long ago, which means that I am going to have to talk about this bitch again. Goodness gracious, oh me, oh my, gee whiz.
What else could I possibly say about this comic? Well, for starters, I could look back on Issue 1....
Remember all the way back in issue #1 when we thought the series was only "ok"? Wow. Good times.
So, let's re-review issue 1. Gwen is at the bank, she's robbing it, staring at a lady that is super preggers, Gwen then goes into the gutter and does a few Fortnite dances, she dabs, Spider-Man shows up, Gwen tries to get Spider-Man to bite her (?), she fails, she makes unfunny jokes, Spider-Man leaves, Gwen almost gets arrested but she eats about a billion bananas and becomes radioactive, and she lives to see another issue... AAAAAAAAAAHHHH.
Well, the first issue is pretty crappy, but only "Regular Modern Marvel Comic" levels of crappy. Could be much worse, and it seems Leah Williams took that as a challenge cause issue 2 is the worst thing I've ever seen, but I already reviewed that on the old website.
There is one question that constantly kept popping up in my head like WinRAR telling you to pay up, and that question was "Are these reviews worth it? Is it worth it to cry over something that happened 5 years ago?" And the answer always was... Yes, it was worth it, I made the old site and this new blog so I could yap about things that I find important and if I wanna yap about a shitty old comic from 2019 then I will.
Sometimes I wonder if you need to know everything about the Marvel Universe in order to work in Marvel NYC but then I remember Nick Lowe exists.
It took me until like right now to notice that in one panel, Gwen says UWU. And now I'm typing it here. Isn't that just nice. We can all say uwu together. uwu.
One inconsistency that I noticed was how in the Marvel Holiday Special 2015, Gwen mentions YouTube but, in this comic, she is making videos on "TopTube", and now she is looking up things on Geegle. Interesting. Also, Gwen apparently does not care about the FBI agents watching her google searches, because in the Holiday Special, she looks up "How to build bomb" and in this comic, she looks up "how to rob bank". Meanwhile, I'm too scared to look up "nintendo roms" and "am i gonna die if i eat too much plastic?"
Now, I've spent a lot of time hating on this comic, and I've spent most of the time complaining about issue 2, so let me talk about the things I did like from every issue of this series.
I guess the covers were pretty good, they were well-drawn, the colors are nice, and I kinda liked the premise of making the story about getting a cover shot. I guess I also liked Spider-Man in Issue 1, he was pretty cool.
Issue 2... I honestly can't think of anything, it was that shitty. Jk I liked some of the references.
Issue 3. This is where the series started going from Bad, to shit, to ok, which is actually really appreciated. I liked the scene where Gwen's like "Whoever wins gets Tony Stark's massive cash prize donation" and Tony's like "As soon as she said it, I knew it was true".
Issue 4. I actually kinda liked this issue.
Issue 5. It was stupid but it was alright... One thing I should've mentioned is that it turns out that Gwen actually IS from the real world, I'm not sure why she said she was a mutant if she's not but okay.
I guess the idea of the series could've been executed better but it all ended up just fine in the end. The art was also pretty cool.
ENOUGH ABOUT THE SHITTY SERIES. It's time to talk about something nobody cares about, I've solved the mystery that no one cares about. What was that drink in the variant cover of Deadpool's Secret Secret Wars #2? Well, this incredible scientific discovery has taken all of 2 minutes of my life.
In the original variant cover of DSSW#2, in a panel in the original Gwenpool series and in the cover of issue 25, you can see that she is holding one of those fancy-ass looking cups with the little umbrellas, but what IS that drink? Well, it cannot be an alcoholic beverage because Gwen herself confirms that she is 19, not old enough to drink in the US. So, it is definitely a soda or at least a juice of some kind. None of my favorite characters would ever drink while underage.
It could be green punch, but I had never heard of it until now, and it's also too green. Lemon juice is also out of the question because it is too white. It cannot be regular Mountain Dew because it is too green, the Beetlejuice fanta is also too green... But I've found a drink that could be the one, and that is... MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST, HELL YEAH, BABY!!!!! It's all about that Baja Blast.
Well, the post is coming to an end, but one question still remains in our heads... What shall be the next big storyline review? Well, I was thinking of reviewing the Sonic the Hedgehog: Tangle & Whisper mini-series because I own multiple copies of it, so I'm probably doing that soon, I was also thinking of talking about Spider-Man's "The Real Clone Saga" and "Coming Home" because I also have those... Fuck it, I'm doing all of those. + The first few issues of my favorite Marvel characters. I might as well review everything, I'm reviewing you, I'm coming for you, bitch, you're done, don't make me review you.
Send fan-mail to eddiespiderplushfanmail@gmail.com
SPECIAL THANKS:
Me. I did this by myself.
NEXT: I just said what I wanted to do next bruh
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