The News. (ft. Gwenpool #1 ACTUAL Review)

NOTE: This post was written by Eddie, don't know why it says Polly.

Here is the real review for this god forsaken comic. Thanks, Cavan Scott and Stefano Nesi.

Yadda yadda yadda, I already looked at the cover.

It looks like this comic is actually exactly what I was expecting, but it was actually... Good? No, not really, its still crap, but passable crap.

Gwen Stacy is back, all thanks to Weapon X, and she now goes by the name of X-31 or Gwenpool or something like that*.

MEANWHILE, Kate Bishop, Spider-Man and Gwenpool (the white one) from Marvel Comics are all entering Weapon X until Fig Fang Foom shows up, but luckily, Gwenpool uses her amazing powers of leaving the panels to show up in another page as a giant to kick Fig Fang Foom's green ass... Well, I've never seen his ass, for all I know it could be red, or blue, or purple.

All of a sudden, someone starts KILLING the guards, and it is none other than Gwenpool (the purple one, I'm talking about the colors of their costumes here, not their skin, they're both caucasian blonde girls, but one was created in the 60's and the other was created as a marketing scheme) and she is now about to 1. Kill Kate, 2. Kill Gwenpool (white) and 3. Break Spider-Man's silly little heart while also probably killing him.

From the looks of it, this new X-31 is not gonna be taken seriously, which is honestly a relief. 

What did I like about this? Well, Spider-Man was here, the art was alright, and there's a lot of potential here... 

The things I didn't like were all the references, seriously, tone it down! There's 13 references back-to-back in this shit, Stan's soapbox, 4th wall breaks, Frank Miller, comic titles, cosplay mentions, if this is gonna happen in every issue, I'm gonna be really mad. I don't think the original series had so many references tacked into one issue, let's take issue 8 for example as it was the only issue within reach of little ol me on my desk... I only recall like 2 4th wall breaks. Another issue is a slight nitpick with the art, Gwen's eye lens things were drawn way too small, this isn't how she looked in the WCA series drawn by the same person, but I guess art styles change over time.

7/10. Here's hoping it improves.

Time for the news!

- As for world news... This is too complicated, why don't I stay in a little bubble isolated from society?

- Spider-Man: Noir (now titled... Spider-Noir) has just released their first teaser, and it looks... I haven't seen it; I'm a busy guy.

- The cover for the next issue of the comic I just reviewed shows the real Gwenpool getting stabbed to death... I say "to death" because there's no way that a normal human being can survive getting stabbed with 2 samurai swords... Though, there's a strange lack of blood in there, maybe it would've been to grotesque to show on the cover.

- The guy I interviewed (skull902) just got a makeover, with a new profile picture shown everywhere except YouTube itself. Eh, the new logo looks okay, but I got too used to JUST "the smiley face for the win" logo without the new blue square.

- The editor of SpiderFan.org has rejected me, but he told me to come back in a couple of years. I don't give up easily, so I definitely will practice. No hard feelings towards Jon, he's actually a really, really nice guy. 

Let's take a look at what's new in the comic stores this week:

- The newest issue of The Amazing Spider-Man by Joe Kelly presents Spidey going through his craziest experience of all time, and that is getting a vasectomy. When asked about this, Nick Lowe said "Take THAT, Mayday Parker fans!"

- Who says a comic book has to be good? That's right, Marvel also gives us the newest title in the Ultimate Universe line, "Ultimate Not Brand Echh", the new gritty, dark update to Marvel's iconic comedy title.

- The latest issue of Batman presents his day off. Bruce pretty much just slept all day.

- This brand-new independent comic book company just launched their first title, in which we are told the tale of a bunch of superheroes, but these ain't your daddy's Marvels or DCs, these superheroes kill people, there's lots of blood, sex, drugs, rock n' roll, violence and stuff like that. Oh! And don't forget to pick up their new 

- This month's previews show that Marvel is planning another event, this one is titled "Civil War III", no information has been given on what is gonna happen, but I know I'll be there.

- The decision has been made to produce a comic book adaptation of last year's summer hit, Harold and The Purple Crayon, starring Zachary Levi.

That's it.