The Nefarious Literature Club. (Part 3)
CONTENT WARNING. The discussion of serious issues like depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Of course, these are sensitive issues and I'm not gonna joke about them.
LAST TIME: Read the post.
Doki Doki Literature Club. Game. Silly.
Well, the show must go on. I don't think I wanted to maket this a series of posts... Oh, whatever, let's continue...
So, here I am, walking home alone because Sayori left early. I remember that I have to help Yuri this weekend... Though I haven't heard of Sayori since she left... Maybe I should check on her, see if she's okay? Well, I decide to visit Sayori without warning.
The house is quiet. Sayori isn't anywhere on the first floor, so I assume she's up in her room. It's already strange of her to not run down and greet me. I head up to her bedroom, where I finally find her. Well, there she is, forcing her smile... What could've happened in the span of a week? What goes on in this club and why is it getting weird only after I showed up... And how did she know I was supposed to be with Yuri? Well, I tell her that I'm worried about her. She calls herself selfish because... Well, I don't know if she did anything selfish. What the hell could've happened to her? That's what we're about to find out...
She tells us that she's been dealing with depression her whole life, that's why she's late for school every day, sometimes she can't even find a reason to get out of bed. She calls herself worthless, but to the main character, she means a whole lot to him, it's something a lot of people don't realize when they feel depressed, there are people who care and people that want to help you out. You can't always feel pointless.
Still, my character feels almost betrayed by her because she was hiding it her whole life... She didn't want me to worry about her and not focus on important things... But she is important, my character is her closest friend! Well, she wanted me to become friends with everyone else, but at the same time, it was heartbreaking for her...
I once again tell her that she shouldn't feel mad or hurt because she really means a lot to me, and I tell her to never underestimate how much I care about her. What a nice scene, more emotion than most things I've reviewed on the site. See? This isn't just a game for gooners.
Well, I think it's time for me to go home, Yuri is probably still waiting for me. I'll be seeing Sayori tomorrow.
That was pretty serious, not it's time to be silly again. Cue the repetitive piano music. Yuri just got here... She says that but she's probably been waiting for a long time. She could've texted me... Right, I remember the exchanging phone numbers scene.
I take Yuri to my room... Wow, my room looks NOTHING like my actual real room, where are the Spider-Man toys? Why is it so organized? WAIT, YURI, DON'T OPEN MY DRAWER WITH THE TOXIC WASTE! Well, Yuri has brought things like a few candles and a cylinder... Wow, pringles, diffuser for essential oils and candles? Sounds like an exciting night. The smell in the room is great... I think I'm gonna puke here.
I should get the mod where we go to the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota... Wait, why is she less shy when she's only here with me? Is it because I have 20,000 aura? Well, we finally begin making this poster, she uses her trusty pocketknife to cut some ribbon, I am amazed at the sight of such a beautiful knife that I could probably buy at a gas station for like a dollar. So sharp I can barely feel when I get brutally stabbed to death in my back 23 times... Yuri tells us that she's into knives, which is... I guess I can't judge since I'm into playing games like this one and reading what is basically children's comic books.
Well, I think it's funny how she gets nervous about EVERYTHING she does.. "OMG, I have to pay taxes... Gosh, I'm so nervous" -Yuri, probably.
Well, I grab the knife and, OUCH! IT is so sharp... Shit, now I'm bleeding, how will I ever get out of this one? Yuri licks the wound, which has been scientifically proven to cause deadly infections, and now she is drinking what is basically a stranger's blood, thanks, Yuri, you fucking idiot.
I lick her index finger in return... Truly, the masterclass of gaming, right here. Oh, and now she dares to call ME weird? What the fuck, you purple hair bitch with the incredibly long hair that has a fascination with knives? Who are you to say anything? Whatever, let's create a banner, otherwise people would be confused as to where they were... So, watercolors and shit... I come back to see Yuri unrolling her sleeve... Odd, but I'll let it slide for now.
Yuri explains how she has fun, doing activities like reading, and other stuff, but sharing the experience with someone makes her happy. We move at the same time and bump our heads. How clumsy we are. I fetch a small towel with hot water to clean up her face, which has gotten paint... Let go of my hand, Yuri. The warmth of the towel feels nice to her... She looks into my eyes with the silly expression she has while reading... WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? I'm feeling all gooey inside for some unknown reason... Not in real life, though, I'm fine.
That was cool, let's continue making this thing, the sooner we finish this banner, the sooner that she'll get out of my house. It just struck me that I rarely see her smiling. Yuri packs up and is ready to leave, what a strange day, there was some silliness, and some strange stuff... Why do I get the feeling that this is the start of a very serious moment? Why does my character ask Yuri out platonically? WHY IS SHE SO UP CLOSE? Well, she pulls back because Sayori is here to stop by and say hello, what a nice girl. Yuri HAS to go, but it's okay because I'll see her tomorrow.
Now I have to awkwardly talk to Sayori, who didn't want to see how much fun I was having with Yuri... Trust me, it wasn't fun, it was awkward as hell. Seeing this PNG crying makes ME want to cry. It looks like she's going through another depression episode, but luckily, my character is here to be reassuring... Wait, Monika told her about ME being with Yuri? That's a ridiculous claim. Well, I tell Sayori that I'll be by her side always. I mean, we're literally neighbors with 2 identical looking houses from the exterior.
Sayori confesses her feelings towards me, she literally says that she loves me so much that it makes her want to die... I tell her that I'm there to give her what she needs, the player gets a choice, I either tell her that I love her or that I'll be her dearest friend... Fuck it, I might as well say I love her. She gives me a big hug, and Barry hugs back... That was the name of my character, remember? No matter how bad things get, I'll always be by her side. Very sweet.
Sayori tells me that she wants things to stay the same regardless of us dating or not, which is fine by me.
It's the day of the festival, I'm waiting for Sayori to walk to school with me, but she's not anywhere to be seen... I end up walking to school by myself, though I can't help but be a little bit worried about her... At school, Monika greets me, I'm the first one here. She also seems surprised by Sayori's absence. Then I remember what she told me yesterday, knowing it's not as simple for her as it is for me, so I go back... Not before Monika says more suspicious things, how did she know what happened? Why does she use strange wording? What is going on here?
She tries to change the subject, I check out the poems printed in the pamphlets, but Sayori's poem is different than the one she performed... This one is kind of messed up, very eerie and very creepy, it contains the phrase "Get out of my head" and it ends with "A poem is never actually finished. It just stops moving". Very concerning.
I get a pit in my stomach, I quickly leave the classroom and rush over to Sayori's house. She doesn't answer the door of her bedroom and she doesn't pick up her phone, so I just open the door, only to find one of the most shocking sights of my life. Something I never expected from this game, or any game. Sayori has commited suicide. Both the character, and myself are incredibly shocked. Not only did Sayori mean a lot to my character, but as the player, I learned to know and appreciate this character, I learned to worry about her, and now, she's gone.
The visuals start glitching, the screen filled with static as we see Sayori's lifeless face. I feel like I'm about to vomit. Why would she do this? How could I be so helpless? What did I do wrong? I shouldn't have confessed to her, that's not what she needed at all... I can't help but blame myself for what she did. Screw the literature club, screw the festival, I just lost my best friend... She's gone forever now, Nothing I can do can bring her back... This isn't some game where I can reset and try something different. Now I'll carry this guilt over me until I die.
The character blames himself for what happened... And the game ends... That's what they want us to think.
See, the game goes back to the title screen... But something is incredibly off.
The music twists and... The game is glitching. Well, whatever, it seems to be fine now.
It seems like the story of the game has changed, and now I have ALWAYS walked to school alone.
At school, I am greeted by Monika, who kindly asks me to join the literature club. Not before glitching again... When are they gonna patch this? Whatever. Monika has always been the most popular girl in class. She's smart, pretty, normal, not the devil, you know. Well, I'm not gonna miss the chance to be in a club with a baddie.
And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul to Monika and her irresistible... Smile. Oh, and I guess I was also hungry for cupcakes. I am greeted by 2 more girls, none other than Yuri and Natsuki. Natsuki asks if I'm Monika's boyfriend... No, you're thinking of some other guy, I forget his name.
I'm getting bored already. So, the desks are arranged to form a table. Yeah, this is the same shit, just without Sayori. Yuri tells me the same shit about what she likes to read, Natsuki tells me about her cupcakes or whatever the fuck. I guess it feels nice to meet these girls for the first time... Again, but the pacing of this game is sometimes slow as shit.
So, I'm still getting to meet this club... Can't I just go home?
Monika has a great idea. What if we make poems of our own? I had never even heard of that before, thanks, Monika, what a great club leader... Though I never said I would join... Fuck it, I'll join since the game isn't titled "Doki Doki FUCKYOU Club". Monika tells me to join the club so they can have enough members to actually START the club, and that is what convinced me. Though if this happened to me in real life, I'd still tell them to piss off. Though at least I wouldn't have to take any money out of my wallet to stay on the club.
So, I go home to write away my poems. Can I really impress the class star Monika with my mediocre writing skills? Let's just see how surprised she'll be when I review this game.
I have unlocked a special poem, would I like to read it?
So, I write my poem, everything seems normal. JESUS, for a second there, Yuri's face was glitching... What's happening to the music? WHAT HAPPENED TO NATSUKI? Is my game okay? Do I need to uninstall and reinstall? What the fuck is going on? Is the game tilting? Is the music twisting again? Am I going crazy? I swear to god, if I don't get answers... I don't know what I'll do.
Yuri pulls out a book for me to read, and the game is tilting so much I could almost read the text sideways. Well, we're all here. Chilling. Though, I'm really curious to talk to Yuri a bit more, I don't know why, I guess my character has free will.
Well, here we are talking to this girl again, I am going to have a fucking aneurysm... The hell is happening to the graphics? I suppose it's kinda silly. Though I'm more concerned than anything. I wish I could describe it but you just have to play the game yourself, it's an adventure. I'm analyzing every pixel, every frame, every everything. This book is titled "Portrait of Markov" with an ominous looking eye on the cover. I've seen better covers but I've also seen worse.
It's about a religious camp turned into a prison where people get their limbs cut off... Yuri is really into this. That's not just kind of dark, but REALLY dark. Though I've seen darker... (Marvel Ruins)
Game seems normal so far, but that's the thing, sometimes it's normal, other times, not so much. Even the text is strange sometimes. She has this problem where she lets things like books fill her thoughts and... Forget to pay attention to other people, so she sometimes says strange things... That's what I figured. Similar things happen to me when reading that one comic.
Jesus, this time the game glitched with noise. So, I sit with her to read this damn book. She seems to be looking at MY book, what the hell? Read YOUR copy, bitch.
So, we start reading from one copy. Nothing weird. We keep making eye contact and we keep reading and you already read this part. Turning the page almost feels like an intimate exchange... Not really, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Yuri does NOT relate to this character... You mean the character that loves chopping people's body parts?
Hey, is Yuri feeling alright? I guess she just needed some water. So, she leaves the classroom for a little bit. Monika asks me if anything just happened, I just tell her Yuri was acting strange. What a strange experience, not like last time... Let's share our poems with each other.... Yuri is not an option.
Well, I share my poem with Monika. Oh, Yuri is back. Whatever. Monika's poem is about a hole in the wall or whatever. It's very cool.
The same shit happens with Natsuki's poem, read part 1.
So, as Yuri reads my poem, her eyes light up and I ask what the hell happened, why would it be exceptional? Is this something I missed on part 1?
What kind of writing experience do I have? Hahaha, let's not talk about it. So, there has yet to be anything strange. So, I read the poem, it's the same shit, and I still don't notice anything strange... Though there's a few things I found on my PC, in the folder with this game. Files like CAN YOU HEAR ME.txt and hxppy thxughts.png, really strange files.
Day's over... Game's glitching again. Oh, and Monika is writing something on her notebook, and Yuri and Natsuki are talking.... This is the start of the same scene in part 1... But this time, the conversation leads to Natsuki saying some really heinous things.... All while the game is glitching... What the fuck is going on? This is no longer about the story or the characters, but about ME and THIS GAME.
What the fuck is going on in here? I know I've asked that question a lot in this part of the game, but that is exactly what my reaction is when playing this. Oh, and the music is grating. I'm trying to make a choice but the game won't let me.
JESUS SHIT, Monika scared me to death. I'm scared that if I go back in that classroom, I'm gonna find a dead body.
Natsuki runs out of the classroom, crying. We enter the classroom, and Yuri is obviously feeling regret over what happened. Who knows what she just said to Natsuki, who knows what the hell could've happened here. I am terrified of this game when it goes quiet. Meeting's over and we go home... Yuri would like to stay for a bit longer... What is going to happen? Am I just being paranoid?
Game glitches and now we have to write poems... It glitched.
Another day passes and I'm ready for another club meeting. Yuri is the first to show up, and I'm terrified. So, Natsuki is reading a manga, Monika isn't here yet, and We're about to experience the magical feeling of reading a book together... I refuse to look at my second monitor that I use specifically for playing this game.
Yuri is apologetic about what happened, but I'm here reassuring her, I'm very understanding. Where IS Monika? Asks Natsuki... None of us have seen her today... Also, Yuri apologizes about what happened yesterday... Natsuki doesn't seem to remember what happened yesterday... That's what she says before glitching out. Don't worry, she's fine.
Monika shows up super late, lord knows what she was doing but it probably wasn't a normal activity... Oh, study hall? That makes it understandable.
So, Monika has the same convo about piano lessons, and shit.
Yuri talks to me again about continuing our reading of that one book. I'm just waiting for the next glitch... Whatever. She needs to calm down before reading. She takes a deep breath and pulls out the book again. This time, she has a request for reading while drinking tea. We make our way to get the pitcher and then we go to get some water for the kettle.
This time, she tells me to stay in the classroom... She's taking a bit, so I decide to check what's up and find her with lots of cuts in her hand before we cut back to the classroom... Strange.
So, she is talking to me and stuff, and nothing creepy has happened... Yet. So, we're about to drink this tea and shit. She asks if we should sit on the floor, which I agree to do so, I wouldn't want her to hurt her back, now, would I? She tells me she has a bad reading posture... Y'know, I also do not have a good reading posture, I never seem to find the right way to read something.
Yuri slides closer so that our shoulders are touching. I'm scared, I've said that 320 times now. C'mon, Eddie, why would you worry about a cute girl? She'll be fine. This is the same shit from what I think was part 2.... Maybe the game is normal, maybe there was nothing to worry about. Yuri opens the book and she's looking all cute and stuff. I gotta say, in the rare moments that we see different visuals, they look really good. They belong in a museum for nerds... BIGGER nerds.... Music goes quiet...
Yuri breathes heavily... She grabs my arm and jerks me to my feet... She tells me that her heart doesn't stop pounding, a weirdy feeling... Shit just got scary. REAL SCARY. Suddenly, she gets hyper realistic eyes (No blood). But luckily, Monika shows up. Guess I should be thankful. Oh, time for poems.
Monika tells me that maybe I saw something I wasn't supposed to see about Yuri, she tells me that Yuri gets easily excitable... I can tell. She also likes to... Cut herself to get some kind of high from it... Which is not very good. If you know someone that is suffering with self-harm issues, or have any suspicions, please talk to them and make them dial their local hotline.
If I kept my distance from her, that would probably be the best for her... No, Monika, I think that would make it worse. She also pesters me to spend more time with her... Look, I know a guy that NEEDS you, Monika.
Let's read her poem... It's the same Save me thing from chapter 2, but it says "Delete her" on the end... Interesting. Monika's writing tip of the day... Wait, who is she talking to? Yes, I hear you, Monika, now tell me the damn tip.
Natsuki tells me the same shit she did on the last part... But she notices that I was spending time with Yuri, and stuff. She tells me to look over her poem, maybe I'll learn something from it.
I am too chicken to select Yuri. So, I select her. What have I written up for her? Well, she likes the poem, not like we ourselves could read it. She's happy to hear that I learned the writing tips she gave me. She's not being weird, right? Nooo, not in the slightest. Her poem is weird. Not sure what I expected at this point... "My mind has been a little hyperactive lately, so I had to take it out on your pen"... Wait, MY pen? You have it? I was wondering where that went.
I appreciate that she likes the way it writes... She's being awkward and cute... It's getting kinda scary. Can we pretend this convo never happened? Please.
You have unlocked another special poem... Okay.
Everything is red. Well, if we could sit at the front of the room, that would be great... Why do I hear gory sounds? What is going on? Spidey sense is telling me some jumpscare is gonna happen... Everything goes dark before coming back to normal. This isn't the time for us to become complacent, we need to plan something for the festival!
The club should be so intimate that you NEVER want to leave.
Well, it seems like the same festival shit... Natsuki brings up the problems on the club, how nobody really cares and how we just wanna make friends and shit... Monika is taken aback, but then she replies by trying to get us to agree with her... It doesn't really work. What if starting the club was a mistake? This is a feeling I get when I start group projects, are they mistakes? Am I doing something wrong? This is one of the rare moments in this part of the game where you feel the emotions, really makes you think.
Natsuki leaves because she feels like she doesn't belong here anymore. Yuri feels bad about the situation, game turns scary for a few times, yuri says heinous shit like "Who cares about that obnoxious brat?" which is something I overhear about me a lot, and she also says "Nobody would cry if she killed herself", which is a very shitty thing to say.
But what about me? What do I want to get out of this club? I just want everyone to get along, and for you to stop being a scary bitch. She cries blood a few times... This is getting increasingly more concerning. Best we can do is talk to Natsuki tomorrow. Monika tells Yuri that despite the awkwardness, she is still a great friend and vice-president of the club. Let's all go home and talk about this tomorrow.
Monika's going to chat with me? I'm scared... Well, bye Yuri, scary bitch.
So, shit has been hectic lately, Monika wants to make sure I'm having a good time... Why is everything going to static... What is going on? Why is she saying that she will treat me better than the others??? Sometimes it feels like we're the only real people... She's mad because I haven't spent much time with her? Weird.
I'm scared. But I'm stil understanding....
Oh, poem writing? sure.
The next day, I'm talking with Yuri again. Natsuki notices that Monika is late again, but Yuri tells her to mosey along. What's gotten into them lately? They weren't like this last week!
Sigh, I really wanted to try that new tea that is supposedly the best. So, we tell Natsuki that we would love to work on the festival or something. I mean, why wouldn't we want new members? I don't want to suffer here alone! But I'm glad to see that there's no bad blood between anyone here.
So, what should I do today? well, we already have plans. Oh, it's clear Monika has the hots for me now... I don't know, man.
Another flipping request for tea from Yuri, c'mon, what's in this thing, anyway? I hold the pitcher again, the electric kettle, the water shit again.... I think I'm getting Deja Vu.
Once again, she's taking a bit, I go check again. I once again see the bad cuts on her arm... And we go back to the same shit before the game glitches and scares the shit out of me again. She had some weird Deja Vu as well, strange. Everything is getting scarily dark again while Yuri explains how weird she is... Yes, I could tell. She confesses to me about how she has been dealing with strange feelings yesterday, how her heart beats fast when we hang out at the club, it's been making her do weird things, she doesn't know why... Say, has Monika been acting off lately? She has a strange aura about her... Yuri's not crazy, is she? Now that we're alone, why don't we stay here for a bit? Oh, game's acting scary again... It's getting old, but I'm still pissing my pants. Yuri keeps making strange remarks, and Monika slowly starts to appear.... Say, why don't we go to Yuri's house to see her collection of knives? Nobody deserves to be lonely, which is why she's so happy I joined the literature club... This is supposed to be sweet, but it's horrifying.
Monika is becoming less transparent, which has been happening throughout the whole game.
MONIKA, I SEE YOU. YOU CAN STOP NOW, THANKS.
Time for poems, I show mine to Natsuki because I actually trust her the most at the moment. She's cheesed because I wrote like Yuri... Well, she hands me her poem. It... Is not a poem, but instead a note about how Yuri has been acting strange and about how worried she is getting. Oh, Natsuki is now faceless. Now I trust NO ONE. Ignore everything you just read, don't try to do anything, blah blah blah. Y'know, I really would try to be with Monika... IF I COULD. I can't write poems for her, she barely does anything, I really can't rizz her up.
"Just Monika". Sure. Just her.
Instead, I show my poem to Yuri, because I won't be peer pressured. Oh, Yuri wants to keep my poem? Cool. Keep it, but please don't kill me. "I could die" well, let's hope not, I don't want a dead body in front of me or anything. She holds my poem close to her heart (boobs) and decides to take it home. "I'll even touch myself while reading it over and over", cool. A bit TMI, but I'm glad you like it so much. "Ahahahahaha" Glad you think my writing is funny.
"You can have my poem too", says Yuri... Thanks, I'll also be gooning to you... Her poem is bloody and creepy and I AM NOT CLICKING OFF, I KNOW WHAT I'LL SEE, AND IT IS TERRIFYING. I really can't goon to this... Oh, we speaking gibberish now? chiNIVEVMZXE. Wow, you really are the most thoughtful person in the club... Almost too thoughtful.
Monika tells me "Don't say I didn't warn you, Barry".
To be continued.
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