Eddie's Guide to Gwenpool
NOTE: Development on this post began in June of 2024, so you may notice different writing styles as the post goes on.
FULL TITLE: Eddie-Plush Garcia The Third's Really Really Really Really Really Pretentious Long Ass Guide to Marvel's The Unbelievable Gwenpool Publication that ran from 2016 and she's somehow still being used in comics today even though I don't see anyone give a shit unless it's that one niche Twitter community.
FORMERLY TITLED "The Greatest Comic of All Time"
In this post that I have been hyping up for a long time, I'm gonna talk about the best comic ever published. Which one could it possibly be? NOTE: Since I've updated the title, the joke about guessing no longer makes any sense but I'm keeping it here since I didn't know how else to start off the post.
Invincible? No.
Dark Knight Returns? Shut up.
Watchmen? Watch me not care.
Frank Miller's Daredevil? Get outta here.
All of those comics are for stupid idiots that only read stuff that is serious and dark and all that shit, this is a comic that is much better than that. This comic was actually made to be ENJOYED.
I really should've scrapped that joke from the beginning, I mean, it's been there since last June!
This is the comic that got me back into the comic book fandom. If it wasn't for this comic, I wouldn't be making this post, and I probably would've just been stuck posting about Sonic and Mario and Five Nights at Freddy's on a dead website.
This is the story of The Unbelievable Gwenpool. EXPLAINED BY ME.
Just like I said on the Spider-Man Day special 2024, I recommend that you read the original stories because my descriptions are probably not the most accurate and they're probably bad. So, yeah, read the original stories, do your research, don't do drugs, stay in school and eat your veggies.
Let me take you back to September 2014, the Spider-Man comics have this little event going on, you may have heard of it, it's quite obscure, it's called SPIDER-VERSE. and in Issue 2 of the Edge of Spider-Verse series, we see this funny little character called "Spider-Gwen"
It's a cool little concept, what if Gwen Stacy was bitten by a spider Instead of Peter Parker? Wow, that's interesting, I better buy the comic now and see what happens! (it's been 11 years and I'm sick of this idea, doesn't help that she's now appearing in the Spider-Verse movies.) I swear to GOD, I will smack all Spider-Gwen fans and cosplayers with a newspaper.
Spider-Gwen was a huge hit, so much that she even surpassed the original Gwen Stacy in terms of popularity (probably because the original Gwen Stacy is dead)
And Marvel was like "We'll make millions if we just turn everything into Gwen" and they made like 5 million Gwen Stacy Superheroes that never caught on... Except for one, though...
In June of 2015, Marvel was about to release issue 2 of Deadpool's Secret Secret Wars and they made like 3 variant covers because variants of things make the world go round. One of the Marvel guys (Probably Chris Bachalo) thought "Hey, what if Gwen Stacy was Deadpool" and made a variant cover depicting exactly that.
That is the coolest shit ever, 2 guys are swimming but they must've spilled some of their Hawaiian Punch in the pool, but "Gwenpool" is there sitting in a floaty chair while drinking... green juice? and she's holding a cool sword and she doesn't give a piss about the spilled fruit punch. This cover is pure art, and it goes for 100 dollars now. Comic collecting is a joke.
Someone at Marvel (Probably Christopher Hastings) must've liked this cover and decided to use this character in a Howard The Duck story. and we got just that, new life for what otherwise would've been another stupid-ass character in a variant cover.
Chris decided to cut all connections with Deadpool and Spider-Gwen and make her an original character. Her backstory is that she's a Marvel super fan from the real world, and she somehow got transported into a comic. I kinda wish that would've happened to me, but I live in Mexico so I wouldn't be able to see all the cool superheroes because they're in New York... oh well. Hey, y'know what? Someone should make a comic about that, "Edward the Fat Fuck meets the Marvel Universe" it would be the first comic to sell 1 trillion copies, and it would save this dying industry.
Most depictions of comic book fans in media show old fat ugly shithead bastards that wear superhero shirts all the time and have an embarrasing amount of knowledge about the Marvel Universe, but this is completely different, this one shows a blonde teenage girl that knows everything about Marvel... What the fuck? A woman that reads comic books? That is so unheard of!I've never met a woman that KNOWS Spider-Man, let alone a woman that reads comics. Comics are BOY STUFF!
I sure hope people know I was JOKING with that last paragraph.
After those Howard The Duck appearances, she fell into obscurity... Just kidding, she got her own holiday special. Also written by Christopher Hastings and drawn by Gurihiru. This is just a Marvel Holiday Special disguised as a Gwenpool special.
You can tell that this story is iconic because it's the only Gwenpool story to ever appear in a Marvel TL:DR episode. In this issue, Gwen kills some meanie snake guy. and then she goes to a holiday party in the last page, just to remind the readers that this is a holiday special. Merry weasel stomping day.
I guess it was a success because in 2016, Gwenpool got her own series. What do we have in the first issue? well, not 1, not 3, but 2 stories in the form of one prologue and the main story.
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First story (the prologue) has Gwen stopping a bank robbery... Very poorly... And she gets arrested along with a guy named Cecil, who was the nephew of one of the bank robbers, but he doesn't seem too cheesed off after hearing that one of his family members fucking died in an explosion. He also brings up that he could've robbed that bank using electronics, which really begs the question, how are superheroes supposed to stop electronic bank robberies? Are those even a thing? Idk. Just googled it and it apparently does happen.
The cop driving has a change of heart and decides "fuck this, have the police car, I'm gonna quit because I've seen waaaay too much shit" and just lets them go, which I'm sure isn't very legal, but this is a comic book and there are no repercussions for anyone.
This means no more of the pigs, but more issues of Gwenpool!
You couldn't have any more awesomeness in your main story than this, THE MAIN STORY HAS A BUNCH OF SENTINELS, HOLY SHIT. and Gwen singlehandedly beats them all while also causing damage to the X-Mansion and risking a bunch of people's lives.
We also meet some supporting cast that we met on issue 0. Ronnie is a character that works at a costume shop, and she's funny and cool :D and she's the one that made Gwen's costume.
Next scene, Gwen kills a bunch of squid aliens, this will not become relevant in the next few issues. After that exciting scene, she's just chilling in a bathtub with her costume still on for some unknown reason, but M.O.D.O.K. shows up and fucking kills Cecil and also forces Gwen to join Evil Co.
My biggest question is how does M.O.D.O.K.'s Mohawk work if it has a hole in it... also it looks like a broom.
Well, the comic is over and one thought is going through our minds... This first issue is fucking awesome. It has everything we ever wanted from a comic book, things like death, video game references, squid people, death, good art, good writing, good deaths, good everything. 10/10.
I hope the people at Marvel make a second issue... THEY DID? Oh boy! Oh goodie, GEE WILLINGERS, even.
What's issue 2 about?
The cover depicts Gwen using a hammer that never appears in the comic so she can beat up the new Thor, well, I say she's new but she's been around for like 10 years. What I mean is that she was new at the time.
So, M.O.D.O.K.'s team is made up of such great characters that everyone knows and loves, like M.O.D.O.K. himself (he's the boss), Mega Tony (He's fat), Batroc (He's French), The Terrible Eye (She's ???) and of course, Gwenpool (girl).
They are tasked with erradicating the SEED OF PAINS, some crazy guy that can apparently poison everyone by simply existing. And they're just about to kill him, but then Thor appears, and they fight and all that shit, it looks like the legion of losers is about to... LOSE. But Gwen thinks of a distraction, and she yells "JANE" which is Thor's civilian identity, Jane is about to beat up Gwen because any reasonable person would beat the snot out of someone if they knew their secrets.
How is Gwen gonna get out of this one? well, she says and i quote "SPRAIN! I said i had a sprain!" and Jane is like "Ok", and the other guys kill the seed of pains.
The Agents of M.O.D.O.K. won, if they hadn't, the story would've been pointless. Have you ever seen a story where the main characters don't win? That's fucking ridiculous! Glad we have stories like this one, where the main characters always get their happy ending.
The issue ends with Batroc calling Gwen a "fraud" and telling her that she suffers from "skill issue", which is something i can relate to because i also suck at... well, pretty much everything.
What have we learned in these first 2 issues? Mainly, that this comic is better than anything that was on the market back then and still is better than most comics today. Though, I don't know, it was kinda silly. 9/10.
Well, we've had a big 1st issue, a big 2nd issue with a big cameo, what can we have for the 3rd issue? Well, a cameo from one of the most iconic Marvel characters, is it Spider-Man? The Fantastic Four? The Hulk? Paste-Pot Pete? Nah, Doctor Strange, baby! Everyone knows who he is, i could've asked someone on the street back in 2016 and they would've known who he was.
Now, this isn't really a crossover issue, because Dr. Strange literally pauses the story so he can bring all evidence of Gwen's existence from the real world into the Marvel universe. And then he leaves, and the story continues.
I'm kinda sad that they didn't have a 4th-wall breaking gag where they point at the reader and say something like "Who is that fat ugly bastard?" but hey, no comic is perfect.
Other than that, nothing really happens in this issue, just some training, then we see M.O.D.O.K. on his gaming PC, and then the issue ends.
Before we get to the next issue, i gotta tell you the story of how i discovered this comic series, this is important because SHUT THE HELL UP, THIS IS MY SITE AND I CAN PUBLISH WHATEVER I WANT.
Way back in 2019, I went to the supermarket, and my mom purchased a pack of 4 random comics (they weren't really random, but that's a story for another day.) and when i got home i instantly opened them to see what they were.
The books i got were: an X-Men book, an issue of Old Man Logan, an issue of Daredevil, and an issue of The Unbelievable Gwenpool. I gave 2 of the comics to a friend, but i kept the issue of Gwenpool and i think i still have the Old Man Logan comic somewhere.
I remember being really disappointed for not getting a single Spider-Man comic, so i read the Gwenpool issue first because my 12 year old mind was like "Gwen Stacy as Deadpool? I don't like Deadpool, but i like Gwen Stacy, so this comic may be alright." it wasn't until i actually read the issue that i found out that this was not Gwen Stacy, but THE GOAT OF ALL TIME... Or at least that's what I thought back then. Y'see, from 2007-Right about now, I wasn't the smartest kid.
Issue 4 begins in the coolest way ever, shooting M.O.D.O.K. mugs. This is another training session, aren't those fun? (This isn't sarcasm, i actually like this scene)
Later, Gwen finds out that she is piss poor, with only 9 cents in bank balance, so she tries to go on a mission but M.O.D.O.K. is just like "NOOOOO YOU CAN NOT DO THAT", when MODOK asks her about one of his soldiers, Gwen responds with this.
Yes, dear reader, she did that to my hamster. This is my best joke.
the guy with the acronym in his name is just like "HELL NAW" and kills gwen, and the issue ends, happy 10 years, everybody. Jk, she LITERALLY USES PLOT ARMOR. She then uses ninja smoke or whatever. 1 fight later and Modofucker finally catches Gwen, but Gwen is smart, so she just kicks him in the eye, and he's just bleeding, that's actually pretty fucking disgusting, I don't know why that's there.
I guess getting kicked in the eye does nothing to a machine, so that guy just shoots bullets and fire and swords and FUCKING MISSILES, but Gwen just hides, makes a Pokémon reference and brings back Cecil, who is now a ghost, thanks to Dr. Strange, who just put his soul in that skull, i didn't forget to tell you that, i just kept it a secret cause I'm cool.
I could make a joke about comic book characters getting brought back from the dead, but I'm not like other comic book content creators, or as i like to call them, miserable people.
Cecil just hacks the Mechanized Organism Designed Only for Killing and sends him into space.
The crew comes back, Gwen does a cool pose while telling everyone what just happened, and everyone lives happily ever after... OR DO THEY?
They get a phone call from some guy who could be anyone.
And that's it for the Volume 1 Trade Paperback! The blurb at the end of this digital copy that I've had to purchase TWICE now due to Marvel's inability to have a good comic reading service says and i quote, "The hero who could have been you takes center stage IN HER OWN SERIES!" Well, excuse me, but I demand to know why I wasn't chosen as the hero! I mean, seriously, who would you rather root for? A cute blonde girl or a fat, ugly, stupid Mexican dude who doesn't know how to tie his shoes?
Those poopyheads at ComicBookResources apparently thought that this comic had "Darkly humorous fun"... I can see the "Humorous fun" part but where's the darkness? Is it because people die? I don't know about that one, chief.
Anyway, let's read the 5th issue of this shit, I wonder who's gonna show up? Well, if i look at the preview for the next issue that I get in my physical copy of issue 4, I'll find... No way... You guys have to see this... Come here, dude, you gotta see this, look! The character that appears in this next issue is... Spider-Man!
Yes, folks, Spider-Man is here to boost sale- I mean, to make a good story.
After 1 story recap told to the readers by Gwen herself, we finally start reading this comic, what we find is Gwen standing on top of whatever the hell that is, and she's talking to us about how she is now the heroine of the story. BUT the MODOK crew shows up and reminds Gwen that she needs to pick up that phone call from that unknown guy. I could tell you what else happens but the phone where i have the comic is currently charging, which means you'll just have to wait until it's done.
So, Spider-Man is making an appearance, Okay. I mean, sure, it's exciting and all, but you can't just expect me to jump for joy because of Spidey. If you really want to win me over, throw in Barry the Quokka, a bag of pistachios, and a shoutout in your story - then we're talking!
Gradually, a realization starts to dawn on me while reading... The dialogue of this is written like an MCU film... But only sometimes.
Since Modofucker is now floating in space, the crew needs a new representative, and since this is a fictional story (Gwenpool was never a real person, sorry if this is how you found out.) obviously the new representative is gonna be THE MAIN CHARACTER.
But first, we need to see what Spider-Man is up to, he is fighting some monsters. The dialogue in this scene is fucking bonkers, we get such gems like "Sorry about your truck, Tom, whoever you are, or whatever service it is you do with this truck", "Can't arrest monsters" and "I saw Spider-Man take them out! He was great, and then he went in the complete opposite direction as me!" like, do you hear anyone say this shit in real life? No, this is the good shit that only a Marvel comic from 2016 can bring you.
One thing that pissed me off was Miles calling phones on cameras a "fad", this isn't a fad, in fact, there are even more cameras on phones nowadays, could've sworn i saw a phone with 5 cameras once.
Miles goes to the subway (Not the restaurant with the best subs), but you can't go to the subway in a Marvel comic without finding at least one superhero, and guess what? GWEN IS THERE! And she's very surprised to see that Spider-Man is taking the subway. First thing she decides to do is act like she's Spider-Man's creepy stalker, Miles obviously takes this well... OFC he doesn't, he thinks that's creepy as shit.
1 life endangerment later, Miles asks Gwen how she knows about Spider-Man, and Gwen comes up with the most credible excuse, she says and i quote "I'm a normal girl who was gifted with secret knowledge from a dying watcher" Miles just believes that and just assumes that Gwen has no ill will.
Miles is late to class, but since this is a Marvel comic, obviously something is gonna happen, BUT GUESS WHAT? The building blows up. They could just stand outside doing nothing, but then they remember that they are not police officers, and instantly suit up in superhero gear and decide to hero up.
One of these people is a superhero with powers and skill, the other is just some civilian with insider knowledge and little to no skill in superheroing... LET'S HAVE THEM BOTH ENTER A BURNING BUILDING. Spider-Man does all the work and Gwen just does like 2 things.
The day is saved all thanks to your great American hero Spider-Man (I say "your" because i am not in the U.S. of A.)
Miles goes home after a long day of not studying and he finds Gwen. At this point I'd be calling the fucking cops, but they would probably do nothing.
We cut to the giant squid base in the middle of Central Park, the other dudes just got a Discord call from an unknown person, it's M.O.D.O.K.! He found a phone in space! Just kidding, it's the squid aliens.
Issue over.
The cover for issue número seis may look like it takes place during the night, but it actually takes place during a sunset, little fact that not everyone knows. Also, the cover says CIVIL WAR 2 but the story has nothing to do with that because this is a comic that is actually good.
The story begins with a flashback, Gwen is reading a comic, and- HIFSIOVBISBVIBNEIOCINZXKCXZLIOENVE IS THAT SPIDER-PLUSH?
This is funny considering that Gwen swears at the end of this story arc.
After a few pages of ritual stuff i didn't read, it's time to form a plan to stop these Squidwards.
There's 2 problems with this. Last time, they were all on a boat together, and now they have no idea where they are based. AND they somehow partnered with the NYPD, which has Gwen's mug shot on file. I'm not gonna transcribe everything, read the comic yourself, you lazy piece of shit.
There is a simple solution in the form of explaining it through a different art style. There is a little plot hole in this scene but i will explain that later.
The plan is that while everyone else is causing small misdemeanors that are not big enough to attract an actually interesting superhero, Gwen is just gonna kill the Teudithians, it's as simple as that. Little do they know that there is a superhero that specializes in stopping small misdemeanors, and his name is Spider-Man, we just saw a Spider-Man a few issues ago, i think these guys may be stupid.
There are secret backup plans, i don't know what they are, they're secret, that's what secret means, look it up on the dictionary.
After naming more popular characters, it's finally time to pull this off. They're gonna cause all of this chaos and make the world burn while we just watch how they do it, and after that we can hear news about how the REAL world is falling apart.
Gwen is in an alleyway at Times Square, ready to kick some squid ass... The plan goes to shit almost immediately, the Teudithians found the base and captured everyone, except for Cecil, cause he's a ghost.
Wow, Vincent is there, what a nice, charming fellow, i bet he's gonna invite us to have some tea! It turns out that Vinny here overheard everything after putting nanobots in the air at his house, which i'm sure it's not good for your lungs but whatever floats his boat.
Gwen's first instinct is to kill a man, right after establishing that she's not a villain. Turns out that ol' Vindo here wasn't actually as trustworthy as i thought he was, and he was actually Victor Von Doom, also known as Dr. Doom, from 2025's Avengers: Doomsday, where he's played by Robert Downey Jr.
Issue number 9 begins with a flashback to Doom's base, where he's building another fucking Doombot, but then the old Squirrel Girl shows up and kills every doombot. One of them escapes and just runs away to some guy's workshop, where he gets a new identity and becomes Vincent Doonan.
The plan has gone from killing Squids to avoid getting killed by a fucking robot, comics are the best. She turns a cop from just another extra to an important character, but they still fail to destroy that Doombot, what a good idea that was.
After one day of absolute failure (which is common for Marvel), they just go back to the base and rest for a bit, because y'know, it's not like the rest of the crew has been CAPTURED or anything. It turns out that there's still a lot of soldiers in the base, even though we didn't see them in the previous issues.
Just how large is this base, really? It appears to be the size of a house from the exterior, yet inside, there's a living room, numerous bedrooms, a spacious meeting room, and a storage area, these aren't small rooms, they're HUGE. The simple explanation for this is that it's a comic book, a piece of fiction, not real, the Marvel Universe is not real, and it never will be. Just so you know that when you see some guy on social media go "I can't believe Spider-Man was real", they're most likely joking, Spider-Man is a work of pure fiction from the mind of some guy in the 1960's.
The cover for issue number 10 depicts a dystopian future where Gwen rules the United States of America, i pray to God that this never happens... And I'm not even religious!
Well, i'm now jamming out to another song on my Spotify Playlist, this one's "One of The Drunks" by Panic! At The Disco! What a fucking banger.
We're here, in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, looking at another sweet innocent old couple, they are arguing about what they're gonna eat, but then the giant base shows up and we have one epic awesome battle between Gwen's army and the Squid men, this is fucking awesome, you have no idea. Everything is on fire, this happy little neighborhood has become a fucking warzone, with plenty of violence, squid deaths, and explosions... I don't know if i should be sad or fucking HYPED... Y'know what? I'm gonna invent a new word.
SYPE
/sīp/
noun
When you are hyped but you're also saddened by what you're seeing.
That's now i feel when watching insane explosions and violence in this comic.
Gwen just saves everyone, but it looks like the base is fucked, so she decides to abandon ship. Looks like everyone is safe and everything is okay... Except it's not, the base is gone, their client will never hire them again, and everyone is BROKE... It's time for the league of losers to dissolve...
Everyone has left, and Gwen's all alone, i can relate to that. Let me tell you about what happened on September 27th, 2024. I was at school, about to turn in an assignment, but the teacher had just left, he said he was gonna be back, i decided to wait for him, all my friends just left because they had already turned in the assignment... Eventually, the teacher just told me to wait until Monday, so i just left school, walking home by myself, with the most miserable look in my face... My friends were at the park, and they saw me, and invited me to their little hangout session, so it all turned out fine. Also, i got a good grade, so i won in the end.
Let's go back to talking about the comic. Gwen's as lonely as the galaxy MCG+01-02-015 until we see that Big Ronnie is there to give some encouragement to ol' Poole. Comic's over and so is the Trade Paperback.
In the Awesome-Meter, this comic gets an 89/100, this comic is as awesome as a slice of Pizza without the damn pineapples.
The recap is not over yet, i still gotta write down a recap for the other 15 issues.
Issue 11 has a cover.
Our comic begins with the first scene in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014), but Peter Parker's parents are replaced with a rich kid. But OH NO! There is some guy that has killed everyone on the plane and now he's gonna kill this rich kid in order to... something. Little does that gunman know that GWEN is right there, and she has a gun. Little does SHE know that if you kill a killer, the number of murderers in the world stays the same.
The shooter is dead, the rich kid is saved, the plane is not, the kid isn't pleased to hear that his plane exploded in a giant fireball, and everybody died... except for me, you know why? 'CAUSE I HAD THE TRAY TABLE UP AND THE SEAT BACK IN THE FULL UPRIGHT POSITION.
Gwen is back at Ronnie's Custom Battle Spandex, looking BORED. I look like that every day, she's not unique. She's looking for another job, and she finds one, wow, life is so easy. The new job involves killing a vampire, and according to Cinemassacre's Bullshit Man, that is incredibly easy.
We're going to Upstate New York, where they make the best Steamed Hams. Gwen also must've broken her neck off-panel, don't know what's up with that... Eddie, if you don't put the panel on screen, people are going to think you're insane...
Y'know what? Dear reader, look for the panel yourself, asshat.
Y'know, i kinda don't wanna continue reading... I mean, skeletons and zombies are TERRIFYING, do I really want to look at a comic full of those things?
So anyways, we're finally at Doodkill, which looks a little bit like the Town With No Name (CD-TV). Some guy is looking for a "Vampire-Killing Mercenary", lucky for him, our protagonist is here to kick some vampire ass. The guy tells Gwen to ONLY KILL THE VAMPIRE, NOTHING ELSE.
If you wanna know what Cecil's up to, he's currently visiting his family, however they don't recognize him because he's dead and a ghost... I think his family might be stupid because they try shooting a ghost.
With the sun setting, it's possible that the vampire could emerge at any moment. WHAT'S THAT? Ha! Made you look. No, wait, WHAT'S THAT? That's a skeleton? And it's taking a walk? Weird. Wait, is that a zombie? Wow, this is starting to look like MINECRAFT.
It looks like the skeletons are about to attack that old dude, but Gwen swoops in and starts to kick some skeleton ass... Well, it turns out that everyone is just a random civilian, and this old dude is just a necromancer.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE VAMPIRE? Well, it turns out that this vampire dude is actually Blade, the vampire hunter, who can't be stopped by garlic, or stakes, or pretty much anything. How did Blade find out about this town? Well, some random person saw a skeleton and the news spread fast. But they're not bothering anyone, so Blade just leaves. What a nice guy that was.
Believe it or not, the necromancer was EVIL all along. OH NO!
According to the reading order posted by OmniGulano on twitter (now deleted), I have to read Champions #5 where Gwen meets the Champions, however, i don't have a copy so I'm just going to have to find a synopsis online.
Synopsis not yet written on marvel.fandom.com/wiki, that's just wonderful. HOW DOES THIS LEAD INTO GWENPOOL #12?!!??!
Issue 12 has a spoiler on the cover but that's okay, not like i care.
Gwen's on a jailcell for the second time, but this time it's not in New York... Or maybe it is, i don't know, New York is weird. We get a flashback to something that happened off-panel, i don't know what the point of that was. Well, NOW I know. It was to show that the characters don't remember jack shit.
Gwen just kicks the door open and finds... Mega Tony, why is he there? Why is he mad at her? All she did was kick a door and try to attack him.
It turns out that they're both there with no memory of what happened and none of their stuff, whoops. This is starting to look like a bad roleplaying game and- WAIT A MINUTE. PLOT HOLE?
I didn't bring this up in my Gwenpool Strikes Back #4 review but you may remember that Gwen gets help from other versions, well, if you look closely, Marshmallow Gwen has her weapons... Which she DIDN'T have in the original comic she was pulled from (Issue 12 of the original series), can't believe the team at Marvel Comics had this oversight, everyone go protest in the streets of New York City, outside of Marvel HQ and tell them to read their own comics.
Back to the story, they find some frog/fish/whatever guys and Gwen just flushes them like a toilet.
Turns out that Gwen is really really racist, because she calls Batroc a slur. Wait, why is he here? Why is that other chick there? Why did i forget her name? No clue. But this is starting to look like the 2011 Channel Awesome movie Suburban Knights, just without all the Suburban stuff.
They enter Fantasy Costco, where there's a nice old man ready to sell some weapons that are not very legal. After avoiding making a Zelda reference, Gwen just kills the man, and it's revealed that he's a robot... I wonder what could've happened if that was an actual old man...
It's revealed that the old man was actually a demon, and after that it's revealed that it was actually Arcade, and i only know him because of that SNES game. They can all leave but only if they finish this RPG, Scott Wozniak would be pissing his pants right now.
They wear the stupidest outfits ever and start to play the game... And they find... Guess who? If you guessed Sir Justin, I'd call you a fucking idiot because he's from DC. The correct answer was Deadpool... And he is shirtless for some reason... WHO WOULD'VE FUCKING GUESSED.
Issue 13 is an issue.
This is where it's revealed that Gwen has never read a Deadpool comic in her life... Oh the irony, the girl that calls herself "Gwenpool" doesn't really LIKE Deadpool. That's like if i said "I fucking hate Spider-Man, so I'm gonna call myself Spider-Plush!"... Though, to be fair, Gwen didn't really choose the name herself, it was Big Ronnie who came up with it.
After one stupid fight scene I didn't read, they all team up and kick Arcade's ass. They're all outta there.
Mega Tony gets a job at Parker Industries... Reading a comic with Spider-Man post-2012 makes me feel like I've been in a coma for 20 years, like, what the fuck happened? What the hell is Parker Industries?
Gwen finds Cecil and saves him from his crazy killer family, even though he would probably be fine since... HE'S ALREADY DEAD.
Issue's over and we don't have to see Deadpool anymore, or at least until the Death of Society (Gwenpool Strikes Back).
Issue 14 has a cover. Ghost Rider and Hawkeye are here! Wow! I wonder who's gonna be in the next cover. I bet it's gonna be a celebrity cameo and they're gonna have EMINEM in here.
We're in New York City... I mean, the story takes place in NYC but you could be anywhere in the world, it's just a saying, because that's where the story takes us... Just let me be.
Gwen and Cecil are at The Terrible Eye's home, and they're gonna solve this little "ghost" problem. The Terrible Eye (her name is Sarah, i'll just call her Sarah) can't do anything. But lucky for them, she can find someone who can! It's like in Regular Show, where Muscle Man knows a lot of people that do lots of things.
Sarah checks the Lore-Dumping bathtub, and it appears an item has been crafted that can grant you the tangibility you desire, a vessel. It's not a jar. The bathtub can't tell you where it is but Gwen is just stupid enough to enter the bathtub full of an unknown magic liquid, that will just turn out FINE.
Cut to Los Angeles, near the Hollywood sign, in a house that looks like something out of a stock image. This is some rich guy's house, oh and by the way, Kate Bishop is there. Who cares? not me! It turns out that Gwen and Cecil have been transported to a car trunk, but it's not just anyone's car trunk, it's the GHOST RIDER'S CAR...
A cool fight scene happens, and the car trunk just opens because the plot says so. And we get the classic superhero team up trope where there's a huge misunderstanding. Cecil touches a gem that i forgot to tell you about and just gets sucked in. Ghost Rider takes the Chaos Emerald and just drives away.
Gwen tries to catch Ghost Rider, but he just drives too fast and somehow doesn't get a speeding ticket.
Ghost Rider's ghost mask talks to Cecil... Didn't know his skull could do that, but okay.
Back in New York, 2 people are at the NYPD, they got a call about some Gwen Poole, apparently. those 2 fellows are... Her parents? What the fuck? I don't know, that's just weird as hell, dawg.
Number 15. Burger King Foot Lettuce, the last thing you'd want in your Marvel Comic Book is a flashback to a long time ago, showing a bunch of dwarves.
Everyone loves history, i want to be a historian in the future, this has nothing to do with the comic, i just love history so much.
Apparently, a bunch of dwarves are trying to take their gem, but CECIL IS IN THAT GEM, so the West-Coast Motherfuckers are gonna have to retrieve the gem.
Back at Robbie's car, Ghost Rider has been apparently talking to Cecil for like 8 hours, and the point of this conversation was... Gwen needs to be killed because she is the one who got Cecil blown to pieces. Gwen finds the gem, but she doesn't have it for very long because some dwarves just take it... This reminds me of when my phone got confiscated at school, wow.
After a shoutout to Cheetos and a talk, they finally team up and cause lots of destruction, superheroes are kinda stupid. 1 goose chase later and they find a giant furry, Gwen tries the smart idea of hitting it in the forehead with the gem that they worked so hard to retrieve and... Cecil is now a furry, as simple as that. Sucks for the museum, but not for Cecil.
Wait a fucking second... Since this is an alternate universe, some of Gwen's family members might be here! And guess what, they are NOT HERE! I'm just kidding, they are. Just trolled you.
What a shocking plot twist. Issue over. 10 more issues to go and like 30 more appearances... woohoo for me...
The Trade Paperback has a christmas special that I didn't read because i'm writing this in October 2024 and this post is coming out in June 2025.
Y'know, I kinda don't wanna keep reading... Actually, yes i do.
But before we get to that, read IDW's Sonic The Hedgehog #69, and go to page 7 (8 on the digital copy) and look at the last panel, thank me later.
This new Trade Paperback is titled "Beyond The Fourth Wall", glad they didn't call it ATOP THE FOURTH WALL.
Now, I could read it, but... I don't have it. Yep, i own all Trade Paperbacks except for this one... HOWEVER, I've found a hidden door in my home, and it leads to a secret library i had never seen before and.... It's not there either.... Shit, I can't continue the post now!
Guess what, I just ordered a physical
Issue number 16 has a cover inside a cover, Gwen is reading her own comic, which i think is awesome but at the same time i think it's kinda stupid.
Do you remember the ending of issue 15? Teddy Poole from the real world? No? Well, you must be stupid or something... No, you're definitely stupid. Anyways, Ted has just invented a new game, it's called "The floor is a portal to another dimension" and we get a flashback to Gwen's life before it was a comic book. She wasn't special, she was just an obsessed fan of Marvel Comics, with plushies and comic books in her room. Y'know, i don't think i see any real books in those shelves.
Her parents are begging her to get a real job, but Gwen has that sleep study thing that pays her 20 dollars a week. That's not a real job, so she just goes to her local comic shop to see if they're hiring... They're not. But y'know what this reminds me of? A shitty project that no longer exists, and i won't give you any more info.
New store in town, maybe THEY'RE hiring, she doesn't check but she finds a book about worlds between the light, which is not foreshadowing in any way. Teddy is here... Yes, i know who that is. Turns out the store is owned by a cult leader, so... No job here!
Well, after failing to find a job in only 2 places, she just gives up and goes home, because it's getting really late. While walking home, the readers get the shocking revelation that Gwen writes fanfiction... Never would've expected that from an obsessed comic fan like her. Her fanfic was about someone traveling to a different reality... I guess we have her to blame for all this multiverse shit.
They're back home after a tough day of failure. I forgot to tell you this on the last paragraph but there is a website with some crazy guy that talks to himself (kinda like me), and he talks about the possibility of traveling to another dimension, i know where i'm going this summer! Well, anyways, that site has been shut down, and Gwen's like "Wow, i can't access it through my PC but i can access it through my phone", but if that's the case, just use your fucking phone.
Anyways, dinner is ready, and Gwen's dad finds 3 places that are hiring and gives her 3 job applications, wow, how nice of him to do that. There is a little problem at the table! This is the cliche scene where the daughter gets mad at her father, and she just doesn't finish her dinner and leaves the house for a bit. We also get lore-dumping about how Gwen couldn't even finish high school, and all her friends just moved away. Good for them, nobody likes living in New York. (This has been brought to you by a man that has never left Mexico)
She is at a research thing about traveling to another universe, and she is about to just leave, but Teddy is there, is this gonna be a flashback to how Gwen traveled to the Marvel Universe? No, because the machine almost kills Teddy, so they decide to just get outta there.
The portal is a giant glowing sphere... Y'know what this reminds me of? The 2004 movie Spider-Man 2, where Doc Ock uses an artificial sun. This has nothing to do with the story, just wanted to point that out.
The story ends.
We see the letters page and- WAIT A MINUTE, why is the letters page here? This is a Trade Paperback... Well, this makes more sense in the single-issue copy. One thing about the letters page i should mention is that you could communicate with Gwen herself. Y'know what this reminds me of? The 1960's La Prensa translations of The Amazing Spider-Man, where you could send letters to Spidey himself.
The story wasn't actually over, it turns out that Gwen can see that little "THE END" thing now? And she can touch it? That's kinda neat... She drops it afterwards. She is so stupid, she can't even hold an OBJECT right.
Issue 17, the cover is one of those iconic covers that i'm sure is on a lot of posters and t-shirts that nobody's gonna buy.
Gwen has a job now! Cool! Also, you can tell this comic was made in the late 2010's because some extra casually mentions Captain America: Civil War.
She can just see things that other comic characters cannot see... Except for maybe Deadpool, or She-Hulk, or Garfield. Anyways, we see a meeting about getting up those sales for the... Hot dog topper for popcorn... That sounds gross, but it's definitely something I would try, let me see if they're real and where i can get one. They don't exist... I'll just have to make one myself.
Later, Gwen is taking the surprisingly empty New York subway, when she starts to question why she can see the speech bubbles, the panel borders, and how she even got there. This is where she gets the bright idea of touching the panel border. No, it's just a weird hallucination, and she is touching some random woman's face. Seems like the most normal thing in a NYC subway. Oh, look! There's a guy with a poodle hat over there! (Gosh, that's the second Weird Al reference)
Y'know what this reminds me of? The 2012 cartoon Ultimate Spider-Man, where he just breaks the 4th wall a lot.
TL: DR, people that watch the post-credit scenes are dumbasses. Gwen's dad is just so proud of her, she bought her tickets for New York Comic-Con... But something isn't right, and the audience can tell, there can't be enough people in the world that care about comic books!
Well, after playing around with thought bubbles, she tries thinking up the longest English speech ever, but doing so, she breaks a window and falls out. Whoops!
Cut to the hospital, where Gwen dies, this has all been just the purgatory. Just kidding, Teddy is there to visit her, and Gwen says the most coocoo shit ever, and i quote "I'm in a comic book." Teddy's just like "this girl crazy" and just leaves.
She decides to keep playing around with more panel borders... But y'know what this reminds me of? The 2005 video game Ultimate Spider-Man, where the characters sometimes get out of the panel for a cool effect. Did she ever consider that these could be hallucinations from getting hit in the head or sedatives or something? Follow-up question, do they put sedatives on your system if you get stitches for falling off the second floor?
She decides to get out of the panel and into the gutter space, because you would also go to strange places that you don't know anything about. The comic is over.
Ok, remember when i said i would explain a plot hole on issue 8? Well, this isn't really a plot hole, this is more of a stupid-ass nitpick, remember the scene where she's explaining the shitty plan that didn't work out? Well, in 2 instances, she is looking outside the panel... Which she couldn't do because she DIDN'T have the power to look outside the panel or even interact with the comic. Was this comic power teased from the beginning? Was this the big plan all along? Who knows, maybe I'm looking too much into a simple gag. But that's the whole reason why i made this post, so i could look too much into things.
This comic has gone from a story about someone going to an alternate universe where comic book characters are real people to fucking insanity. How does one come up with this? This does not make any fucking sense.
Issue 18 is about Teddy also being transported to the ol' Marvel U, all the super heroes are here, the Thing is there, Spider-Woman is there, Dr. Strange too! And don't forget about Squirrel Girl and Captain America!
It turns out that Gwen's parents do exist in this world, but they don't have children. This Teddy guy struggles with everything, and he has to work for Orto, the snake guy from that holiday special. Y'know what this reminds me of? When they retconned Peter Parker's spider-bite and created Silk, a girl that was bitten by the same spider. What a stupid retcon.
After that, we see an older version of Spider-Man, the Terrible Eye and Vincent Doonan... Why are they here? We have time travel on top of all this comic book panel traveling shit now? This is ridiculous.
ISSUE 20
No time for that, Gwen has just been chilling in the gutter space while this was going on, and we're back to the real world. She seems pretty cheesed. Teddy wasn't dead, he teamed up with the Future Fuckers to make Gwen go back to her world and not live her fantasy of being in a comic book. BUT THEN, it turns out she didn't go back to the real world, the whole flashback thing was not real... I think, and WE NEVER LEFT THE COMIC... EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG, BLACK IS WHITE, UP IS DOWN AND SHORT IS LONG, AND EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT WAS JUST SO IMPORTANT DOESN'T MATTER.
Gwen travels back to meet whoever those time traveler guys are, and she tries arguing with them, but they all start chasing the teen girl so they can kill her. She just leaves through the gutter again. They try using some magic shit i don't understand so they can fix her but Spidey has had enough of this shit and just webs her to a tree so he can explain what the fuck is going on.
Spidey is gonna kill Gwen. But first, he has to explain why, because he's so nice. You see, in the future, Gwen becomes evil and unmasks Miles, which causes the death of society, so he needs to kill her in order to prevent that, but before anyone can explain that this could cause a paradox, Evil Gwen shows up. Wow.
Some crazy shit happens (Look, just read the comic.) and we get the realization that Gwen AND the readers have been lied to. Spider-Man gets killed, by the way. I didn't get lied to, i never believed whatever the fuck was happening for a second. Marvel cannot fool me, even though they have done so SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST.
They both go to the gutter and talk about how nothing about this situation is actually happening and how Gwen would be better off as a villain, and it turns out Spider-Man didn't die or whatever.
1 fight later and the villain is defeated. Good news for everyone.
By the way, did you know that I'm telling all of this from memory? Promise i don't have the comic on another tab or anything like that.
Gwen needs to talk to a friend, so she talks to our ol' pal Sarah and then she calls Spider-Man to tell him to not worry about anything. The end. THIS FUTURE IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
We're finally on the last 5 issues of this shit. But first, let me give you a little history lesson from 8 years ago... Back in December of 2017, it was announced that Marvel was cancelling Luke Cage, and everyone cried. They also announced that Gwenpool was also getting cancelled. And i'm sure someone cried or was at least disappointed.
Since this is a comic about the industry and about playing with things comics have never done before, the next big storyline is about trying to not get cancelled and accepting fate. Getting cancelled means death for someone.
Hey, what's 9 + 10? Well, 21, of course.
Issues 21, 22 and 23 are about trying to stop Dr. Doom for no reason other than becoming a superhero to stay relevant. She stops Dr. Doom but she doesn't stay relevant and does not, in fact, prevent the cancellation of the series. I could give you a detailed explanation but i just don't want to, you need to understand that sometimes i just don't wanna do things.
Issue 24 is about stopping a heist to stay relevant as a VILLAIN. She fails at that. The heist was successful though.
This last scene is pretty sad, Gwen is sad because the next issue is the final issue, the cast is gonna be forgotten, Gwen is gonna "die", there's no hope left... Or is there?
In the craziest of twists, ANOTHER version of Gwen shows up to have a pep talk, cause we haven't had enough of THOSE.
I'm actually gonna talk about the final cover, ending the way we started, a pool and a floatie, with that exact same unknown green juice. I can even see some of the blood of whoever those guys were.
It's not the end, everyone survives. Her legacy lives on through video games, toys, guest-starring in other titles, fan-art, fan-fic, roleplay twitter accounts, y'know, because i'm sure THOSE exist. This is also how i found out about the Great Lakes Avengers.
This isn't just happening on February 2018, this is happening in June 2019, when the Trade came out, and September of 2025, when someone finds it at a library, mark your calendars, go to your local library this September and try to find this comic.
Y'know, if comic characters can just relive their experiences like that, then maybe i can have Spider-Man relive the clone saga, or the death of Gwen Stacy, just make the guy suffer for my entertainment! I'm evil like that.
The LAST (not really) pages of Gwenpool include:
A fight in Venice Italy featuring the Silver Surfer, Ghost Rider, Thor, Rocket Raccoon and Groot fighting against Magneto and 2 other dudes.
A fight in THE DARK DIMENSION, against some guy. She also manages to get Cecil a new human body.
The skrull war of 20XX, which will never actually happen, but hey, it'd be nice if it did.
A team-up with Spider-Man, ALL OF THEM. Merry June-mas to me. *
M.O.D.O.K. coming back but he just leaves again.
THE POWER PACK... Wait, who? Oh shit, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur are here too!
Officer Grey's Police Precinct. Gwen just says, "Fuck this" and leaves.
Gwen using FIN FANG FOOM to scare away some bullies. *
Teddy was FOUND. That's another W for Lost Media Searching. Teddy was never mentioned again after this. He's not in Strikes Back or any other appearance. Maybe he's lost again.
Also, she fights Mephisto, i don't make a OMD joke about this because I'm not Linkara.
Saying goodbye to a random character. *
We end on the same way Issue 24 ended, meaning that Gwen is just in an endless cycle of pep talks.
*The red-haired girl in these pages is the same character, she just gets older because she's a background character, and nobody cares about those.
IT'S OVER. THE SERIES IS OVER. Was it good? HELL YEAH! It has jokes that are actually funny, good storytelling, good art, good everything... At the same time i think it's kinda stupid.
This wasn't the end for Gwen (Although it should've been), she appeared in series like Rocket Raccoon, Superior Spider-Man and the West-Coast Avengers.
Let's read that Rocket Raccoon comic because people say it sucks shit, and i love comics that suck shit.
Rocket Raccoon and Groot want to stop a guy that is stealing baby powder to power a ship... Ok, yes, i did read that right. There they are, near the baby powder factory. THERE HE IS! GET HIM!
Someone just uses a motorbike to jump over the fence, i wonder who that is! I don't know, WHO HAVE I BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR 30 MINUTES???
1st pink speech bubble and it's a 4th wall break... This is gonna be great. i'm not a huge fan of 4th wall breaks, especially when they're not funny. Her first 4 pages are all shit. her next 40 whatever pages are all shit. These comics are all shit. Civil War 2 is shit... AAAAAHHHHH.
Not reading further.
We could talk about her time in the West-Coast Avengers but all you should know is that she starts dating a guy named Quentin, who is a mutant that can do... I don't know, never seen him before.
In 2019, Leah Williams was tasked with writing a NEW Gwenpool mini-series. It sucked, read my reviews.
Issue 1 had pregnant ladies, Spider-Man, shark penis facts, and it was SHIT. Not even Spider-Man could save this comic for me.
Issue 2 had Deadpool, the Fantastic Four, "the sex sells issue", kissing, and it was also SHIT.
ISSUE NUMBER 3, it had The Hulk.... for like 3 pages. It also had eye candy, guilt tripping and it was LITERALLY ABOUT BOOSTING SALES. FUCK YOU.
Issue 4 had plot holes, Thor's hammer, Thor's amputated arm, and Christopher Hastings cloud.
Issue 5 had Bees, talking, and just a few more plot holes. Also, Gwen goes to KRAKOA. Whatever the hell that is. There's also no real world and Gwen is a mutant, which means i can no longer like this comic, because mutants are yucky. This isn't a mutant racism joke, I'm legit not a fan of the X-Men.
After that, she fell into obscurity, aside from the usual appearance in a video game or the Hellfire Gala (whatever that is).
In 2023, Marvel launched a new series called "Love Unlimited" for the subscription service nobody has ever willingly purchased. She was revealed to be aro-ace. She also like dates some chick i don't know about. She also makes fun of NFTs... Even though Marvel was partnered with VeVe collectibles at the time... I was confused at the time, and I'm still confused now.
Well, I've bought a Marvel Unlimited Subscription, i can officially read this shit. Have you ever read a webtoon? This is exactly like that. These comics are not meant to be in paper, these are meant to be read through a screen. How Marvel keeps this in their archives is anyone's guess.
This is Love Unlimited #43-#48, written by Jeremy Whitley and drawn by Bailie Rosenlund.
Krakoa, the most beautiful place in the fucking world. Though it looks like just another regular-ass island. The place where freaks and outcasts of the world can come to be themselves. I know where I'm going this winter break. A land of second chances, even though Wolverine is here, and he's died probably like 30000 times, which is WAY more than 2. A place where someone, no matter their past, can come to have a shot at happiness and maybe... Just maybe...
...love
Really? Anyone can find love no matter their past? Even STALIN? That guy did some bad things.
Gwenpool is apparently now from the real world again, even though we had established in issue 5 of GSB (read my review) that there WAS no real world and that she was a mutant. I can understand that in a book like Spider-Man there's gonna be inconsistencies because it's been running for 60+ years, and he has like 7000+ appearances, but this is Gwenpool, a character with less than a hundred appearances, couldn't Jeremy Whitley read issues 1 to 5 of GSB before reading this? Apparently, he did, because Gwen is in Krakoa, but he couldn't remember the detail that she is a mutant that gaslit herself into thinking that there was a world where the Marvel Universe is just fictional? Am i overthinking this? Yes, let's move on.
NOTE: I forgot that Gwen WASN'T a mutant. But if that's the case then why the fuck is she in Krakoa?
Gwen meets a boy named Wither... C'mon comic, that can't be his real name, HE'S NAMED AFTER A MINECRAFT CHARACTER. A boy with a heart full of love... it seems like the 4 chambers in his heart pump out LOVE instead of blood. His curse is that everything he touches withers... Meaning that someone could either become mortified or humiliated, or they could die in the fucking scorching heat.
Gwen is now a nerd that needs dorky glasses, okay, that's a more realistic depiction of a comic book reader, next you're gonna tell me she uses League of Comic Geeks.
We see the classic trope of romance stories where the guy stumbles upon the girl and she drops all her papers/books/whatever. Makes a lot of sense for a book called Love Unlimited.
We finally get a title. "A Romancing of Gwendolyn Poole", not in any way related to Dan Poole, director of the best Spider-Man fan-film.
"EAT IT, HATERS, I'M IN A ROMANCE COMIC!" What haters? You mean KlonoaPrime?
"I noticed a lot of people falling in love and thought "They must be in some sort of romance comic." Well, i once noticed all of my friends were going outside together without me, and i thought that they must be in some sort of "going outside" comic. You see how stupid that sounds?
She bought some glasses and started working on her romance-narrator voice, which we cannot hear because this is a comic.
She tells us more about how she fell in love or something like that, and she decides to jump out of the comic... and she finds... The internet? She stumbles upon Twitter, and i'm not there, even though i am the most popular person on the site... If you don't count everyone else.
The internet is a fucked-up place. She's back in Krakoa.
Y'know, I'm starting to think that all of her comics are just ads for other comics...
Oh shit, i think ROMANCE is about to happen... It does not.
Part 2 begins with the same first panel. This time, she's wearing another outfit, why? Because she's trying to be a real member of the X-Men. Next thing she has to do is get Elixir to like her, and we're supposed to know who Elixir is. This is so she can have a love triangle.
I'm confused about the fact that she got a new outfit but forgot to actually get PANTS. C'mon, you were complaining about that like 20 comics ago.
The love triangle thing does not work out. After that failure, Gwen just goes to New York, she wasn't gonna stay on that island forever, now, was she? Anyways, here is where she meets Julie Power. Who the hell is Julie Power?
Gwen is in love again. Makes sense for a comic called Love Unlimited.
Part 3 does not begin with the same first panel. New York, the most beautiful place in the world. The place where freaks and outcasts of the world can come to be themselves. There does seem to be a lot of freaks in NYC, even outside of the Marvel U. A land of third chances... Get it? this is the 3rd issue.
The members of the Power Pack have aged, Gwen has not (?). Gwen and Julie are at the most NYC place ever, a 24-hour diner, they're talking about powers and shit. It turns out that Julie is one of Gwen's favorite superheroes, even though she was never mentioned before prior to this comic, but that's not important right now.
Gwen has to go to the bathroom, but if you go to the bathroom in a Marvel comic, it's not to take a shit, it's obviously for some superhero crap (Unintentional joke). She walks through the internet again, which surprisingly has no swearing. This is also how i found out that Tony Stark owns the internet.
We learn that she has ADHD, we only find this out 2 series and 10+ guest appearances later. She hacks everything so it's in her favor, and honestly, i would do the same.
Always wash your hands before leaving the bathroom. We're back to more talking! I feel like i'm third wheeling here, like i shouldn't be seeing this. Anyways, they agree to go out on dates and it's all cute and stuff.
3 more issues to go.
Part 4 starts with Gwen telling her whole life story and aspirations to Julie. They have a lot in common; both of their aspirations just fell apart, and they never got anywhere prior to becoming a superhero.
Hollup, it's been WEEKS? Wow, time flies by.
Wow, things are going great for them, everyone's happy! You're happy, I'm happy, the Kirby plushie in my desk is happy.
Gwen says, "I'm like Spider-Man or Charlie Brown", and that offends me because she really is NOTHING like Spider-Man OR Charlie Brown.
Wow, 2 superheroes dating and fighting crime together, ain't that just wholesome 100 chungus keanu breathtaking? Also, the Vulture is there too, wow. Maybe, if they try hard enough, they can get a guest appearance from... Spider-Man.
I don't want to explain the next scene, YUCK!
But there's a big twist... Suddenly, Gwen is... Not happy?
Part 5 begins and HOLY SHIT, THE GUEST STAR THING WAS TRUE! Spider-Man is here! Wow, maybe if i ask nicely, I can get his autograph. Also, I didn't know Spider-Man had breasts now.
No, this is not Spider-Man making his guest appearance, it's just Gwen wearing a stupid mask that I could probably buy for like a dollar. This offends me EVEN MORE. Fuck you, Gwen. Go piss yourself in the dick, i just wrote like more than nine thousand words with lots of praise for your comic and then you go and do this? Wow. This shouldn't offend me as much as it does, in fact, this shouldn't even offend ME at all, but i am still pissed, you went too fucking far.
We get a flashback to when Gwen had friends that were not shitty mutants. She had pink hair before. All her friends finished high school and left NYC, but Gwen just stayed there, and you guys know what happened because you've read the last 40 minutes' worth of text.
Gwen does not want to kiss anybody, when she kissed Reed Richards back in issue 2 of GSB, it was to be relevant and because it was also a mistake. But kissing in the mouth is gross. After a cute scene, Gwen realizes that she might be asexual.
The thumbnail for part 6 promises that she will go to SPACE and I cannot wait to see that.
She is in space for ONE (1) WHOLE PANEL, AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE REAL SPACE, IT'S JUST SOME SET. THIS IS BULLSHIT. WORSE THAN THE FIRST PANELS ON PART 5.
We get a science lesson about asexual reproduction, but this is a comic about romance, so we also get a really long explanation for what it's like to be asexual and aromantic. Read it for yourself to be educated. Lots of people in the world can relate, though I'm not part of the LGBTQ+ community so I personally only relate to the "Loser idiot that reads a lot of Marvel" part of her character.
After that, the comic ends, and everyone's happy again.
Was it good? Yeah.
Would i read another Infinity Comic? No. I'll just stick to reading through paper... OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED THAT THE HULK TOILET PAPER COMIC IS HERE TOO. GONNA READ THAT.
That's it for Gwen. You see how far we've come? Gwen Poole went from being a shitty variant cover joke to actually being one of the best Marvel comics of the 21st Century, how wonderful, incredible.... UNBELIEVABLE.
Unbelievable... Meaning that it's hard to believe but it's true... Even though this is a fictional story, you can't jump into a comic book. Meaning that this isn't true and hard to believe, it's just not true and we just don't believe it at all.
I almost forgot! She was in Fortnite. As a battle pass skin... And i don't have it...
Welp, that's it for Gwenpool... For real this time. She may have been in a Venom event once, but i couldn't care less about that.
Back in the days of the West-Coast Avengers, she met a land shark called Jeff, who has become somehow less obscure, probably because he's a cute pet that everyone can go "awww" over. He has like more than one series, and Gwen even makes a cameo every once in a while.
Gwen may never appear in her own comic again, but we still have thousands of passionate fans on the internet that keep rereading this shit. You're reading a blog post made by one of those fans.
Dude, this post is almost finished, i hope Marvel does not announce a new series. At the time of me writing this, New York Comic-Con is around the corner, this convention actually IS about comic books, we can only hope that a new Gwenpool title does NOT get announced for 2025 after what she did on part 5 of Love Unlimited.
Okay, this is being written in February of 2025... I think we're fucked. Well, as of the release of this post, Gwen is now part of a mini-series where she has to go up against the revived Gwen Stacy. This started off like shit, but now... I think I have hope.
Well, I suppose this is the extended part of the post, but i gotta get into details about the shit i just said. Gwen Poole has many appearances in other media, she's been a part of many video games... And just that, it's all video games. We'll make a fan pitch for a movie later, but first, let me tell you about the video games.
She was part of Marvel's Contest of Champions... Which I've never played.
She was part of Marvel Future Fight, which I've also never played.
She was in Marvel Strike Force... Which I've never played, starting to sense a pattern here.
There's also Marvel Duel and World of Heroes, which I had never heard of until this point
She was in Lego Marvel and Marvel Puzzle Quest, which i HAVE played. Puzzle Quest sucks. And Lego Marvel is a Lego game.
Anyways, time to pitch that series/movie/whatever. (Keep in mind that this was written in 2024... I mean, nothing has necessarily changed since then, but hey, you never know when Marvel might announce a Gwenpool cartoon or something.)
Let's completely scrap the idea of having Gwen in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it is not gonna work. Y'know what? Just scrap the idea of having her in a movie, it's not gonna work, you know why? Let me list a bunch of reasons why.
- How the fuck would that even work? Do you just have Gwen be an MCU Superfan? Audiences would think the movies are making fun of them.
- How the fuck would Gwen even be transported into the world of the movies?
- If they made her a comic fan transported into a movie universe, that still wouldn't work because it would make comic fans think they are being made fun of.
- Only way this could work would be if they adapted the first few storylines that take place before "Beyond the Fourth Wall" with a few alterations.
- I am not ready to see people thirsting over her because Marvel accidentally casted a fairly attractive actress.
- I am not ready to see people pretending that they've always liked this character.
- I am not ready to see absolute idiots complain about the M-She-U or some shit like that.
- I am not ready to see how they just make her a female Deadpool.
- I am not ready to see how they butcher the storylines and supporting characters.
- I am not ready to see what happens to the comics after the movies come out.
- Brainwash Kevin Feige into thinking that comics are cool and not a dying medium.
- Make it a cartoon or animated movie.
- Make it actually look like the comic it's based on.
- Make it accurate to the comic it's based on.
- If you have to adapt stories from "Beyond the Fourth Wall" and beyond, just do something similar to what the Ultimate Spider-Man game did.
- That's all.
- Deadpool #1 from 2019, according to Gulano, I HAVE to read this, but only pages 21-22, thanks to Gulano for not making me read an entire issue of Deadpool. Those 2 pages were stupid.
- M.O.D.O.K. Head Games #3 from 2021... I do not wanna know about M.O.D.O.K.'s Head game. Skimmed through it, it looks like shit. Why would I wanna read something that doesn't look appealing to me?
- Marvel's Voices: Pride 2023. Gwen is here to wish a Happy Pride Month to those who are proud to be part of the LGBTQ+ community, and that's neato af. There's also other Marvel Characters here, and our ol' pal Spidey shows up. Neato!
- Jeff The Land Shark's comics. I have not read them, and I do not wish to. Nevermind, I did, they didn't even have text, but they were quite pleasant.
- Marvel Cats whatever. I have not read that. And she's in there for 1 panel.
- Spider-Man/Deadpool whatever issue it was. This is where Gwen gets a new desk to draw. I knew she was many things (white, blonde) but I didn't know she was also an artist.
- My hands are cold. This isn't a comic; my hands are just so fucking cold.
- Venom War: It's Jeff. Believe it or not, this comic is not yet on Marvel Unlimited, which is actually really weird considering that it's been over 2 weeks... Okay, I've read it, and it was... Eh... Just your Monday to Friday story... Why Monday to Friday? Can't you read it on Saturday and Sunday?
Is this the greatest comic series of all time? Objectively? No, but objectivity sucks, just have things be great in your eyes, this is the perfect comic in someone's eyes. That's all I can say, just enjoy the best comics, man. It could be one of the most popular comics of all time or it could be a shitty obscure comic from 2015, whatever works for you.
Next post: After-Post.
Big thanks to Chris Bachalo, Heather Antos, Christopher Hastings, Danilo Beyruth, Gurihiru, Myisha Haynes, Alti Firmansyah, Leah Williams, David Baldeon, Irene Strychalski, Jeremy Whitley and Bailie Rosenlund for contributing to comic book history with the character that I make fun of every time I get the chance. I would also like to give thanks to Spider-Man, I mean, his comics are like 5% related, which is why I keep all my Gwenpool comics in the Spider-Man shelf.
I would also like to give a big thanks to me, myself and I because I think I did a pretty good job.
ko-fi.com/spiderplush (Donations will go towards something idk)
Fan Mail: eddiespiderplushfanmail@gmail.com...
...What, that wasn't long enough? You want me to actually REVIEW the comics? Give them ratings? Okay, you're the boss... No, just kidding, I'm the boss, but I have to do it because... Well, this is a review site, not a recap site.
Issue 0: I guess it was a fun storyline, and an okay way to introduce Gwenpool. She was also still treated as a joke, but a joke that was trying to become an actual character, which is interesting. I'd say it gets a 7/10.
Holiday Story: It is only alright because it's just a short fun story with Gwen stopping a villain, though it wasn't really a holiday story until the very end, when Gwen meets everyone at the holiday party. 6/10.
Issue 1: The prologue was pretty much Issue 0.5... Aka a prologue. The main story felt like actually going on an adventure with Gwenpool, which is really appreciated, I really enjoy how sometimes Marvel comics make us feel like we're actually there with the superheroes. 8/10.
Issue 2: It does a pretty good job at introducing the rest of the characters and it really makes use of Gwen's knowledge of the Marvel Universe... For like one entire scene, but it was fun to see it regardless. 8/10... Y'know, I say that, but deep inside, I know it's NOT true, y'see, I've noticed a huge plot hole on page 7 (I think), On the first panel, Gwen puts on a cop hat... But in the next pages, she doesn't have the hat! Jeez, Gurihiru has dropped the ball on this one, this oversight has made the book go from 8/10 to -8/10, looks like that hat just went to the Negative Zone.
Issue 3: Without Dr. Strange's appearance, this would've just been a filler issue, but a damn fun filler issue nonetheless, really makes you want to buy the next issue to see what's going on. 8/10... Starting to sense a pattern... I really just scrapped one of my jokes and now the review is really short... I look silly.
Issue 4: This one is very special to me because... Well, I've explained why in the past, and even on this post, but it's also special because it is such an amazing tale that I can read thousands of times and still feel like I'm 12 years old and reading the shit I got from the grocery store and questioning how this comic got creases if it was brand new, seriously, I've owned comics from the 70's with less creases. But what matters is the art and story, and they're great. Near perfect. 9/10.
Issues 5 and 6: I was really taken aback by the change of art style... When I initially noticed it, because it only took me until like the second time I read it to notice the art change. I still thought it looked nice. The story itself was a fun adventure with Spider-Man as a guest, it doesn't end well, but it was fun. 9/10.
Issues 7, 8, 9 and 10: My joke about this book getting an award was a bit silly, I mean, it's not like getting a Gaiman award is so prestigious, and I definitely do not see this comic getting nominated for like, a Wizard award, or an Eisner, awards that I'm not even sure if they even still exist. Still, this was an exciting action-packed tale full of thrills... This is a phrase that you can find on a 60's Marvel comic. 10/10.
Issue 11: Kind of a filler issue, but still a fun story that shows that Gwenpool is one of those characters that can be in any type of story. The art style was... Actually, pretty mediocre for a Marvel comic, but hey, I still liked the coloring. 7/10.
Champions #5: It was really boring, and it would've been fun to see Spider-Man's appearance and disapproval of Gwen, but I guess Spidey was just busy with his own title... Y'know, I haven't read the issue in a bit, and I don't think I ever will again because the Champions SUCK. 6/10.
12 and 13: I feel like the adventure in this issue was too easy, there was little struggle against the toads that were standing in a big toilet, everyone found cool gadgets and weapons too quickly, we barely got to see the team try to kick ass without weapons or magic, but I guess there was a little bit of challenge after Deadpool showed up and started beating everyone up for no apparent reason. I also really liked how they made use of the art style change for a little joke... That being said, I never understood why art styles sometimes change in a single issue, but hey, it worked for this. I am indifferent to the inclusion of Parker Industries for this but I just don't like the idea of Parker Industries AT ALL. Fun story, good art... Most of the time. 7/10.
14 and 15: This book really explored an aspect of the Marvel Universe that I didn't even know existed... THERE ARE PLACES OUTSIDE OF NEW YORK?!?! This issue reminds me a lot of issues 6 and 7 but without all the fighting between heroes and with more excitement... Though, I wish the interaction between Cecil's ghost and a talking skull would've actually led to SOMETHING, Y'know, maybe have Cecil try to attack Gwen or something after getting the new fursuit, Art was still mediocre. 7/10.
Holiday Special Mix-Up or something or other: Let me tell ya, my favorite part was the news bulletin that read, and I quote "Spider-Man Saves City: A Christmas Eve Miracle!" But then Spidey says "Galactus is real and he helped me", which, I mean, it's cute but we all know Galactus is just kid stuff so maybe just tell us how you really did it, Spider-Man." The rest was boring... Pantsgiving was great, though. 6/10... One may question where this takes place in the timeline... Well, December! DUH!
16: Gwen's life before this story was an enigma, we had gotten ONE whole flashback where she reads a Marvel comic and then... Cut right back to the story! It was meant to foreshadow something... Where did the comic end up going? Well, here we get a flashback that shows Gwen being... Well, I don't wanna come off as harsh, but her life is just... Pitiful, and she's a little bit delusional. She's a wannabe writer that probably won't get picked up by a publication. I thought the story was nice, and I am fascinated by how this story pretty much changed Gwenpool forever, it's insane... I might have to give this a... 9/10!
17: This issue was more about playing around with the whole comic book format thing, it's pretty fucking interesting, and I really really really liked it, I mean, this was unheard of from Marvel at the time, I don't think there ever was a superhero that could mess around with comic book panels like that... Except for those 2 heroes that eventually became more popular, but I don't think they used it as a superpower. 10/10. Footnote: I was gonna put some deep psychological analysis here but then I remembered that I'm not a therapist.
18, 19 and 20: I really like how the storyline starts off focusing on Teddy before it remembers "Oh wow we actually gotta make this comic about Gwenpool" and it just shoves him aside for Evil Gwenpool's time to shine. I REALLY did not like how Parker Industries shows up in the background of the last page of issue 18, but the page was cool nonetheless. The final fight against Evil Gwen or Dark Gwen or whatever the fuck was honestly pretty short, but still very creative. 8/10.
21, 22 and 23: I guess it was pretty fun to see Gwen's struggle with being a superhero and trying to not get canceled, but did this REALLY need to be stretched out to 3 issues? C'mon. I guess they're pretty good, but I would've given this at least 2 issues. 7/10. I thought the story was okay but I really felt bored through most of it. Probably because of the length... - Guy that expects you to read the entirety of this post.
24: This one was just a silly little tale about Gwen and Batroc robin hooding, though I wouldn't have minded if the story was 2 issues long. Seriously, I'm still not over the 3 issue storyline, what the hell? I liked Gwen trying to use her powers for evil even though it was just 4 issues ago when she said that she would never use her powers for evil, c'mon, make up your mind. The ending was pretty crazy. 8/10.
25: The series was canceled, but that couldn't stop Christopher Hastings from making one of the best finales I have ever seen, they pretty much took the last issue to do everything they could, and it was definitely worth it, I get to see things that I didn't even know I wanted to happen in these Marvel publications, it's fucking crazy. I gotta say, my favorite scenario that will never fucking happen is the one with all the Spider-Men, why is it my favorite? Because... Idk, but it's just a great issue and one of my favorites. 10/10. Gold certification.
I already reviewed Strikes Back, and I do not feel like reading it again to make this post longer, and I am definitely not going through WCA again. I will say, I do not like how Krakoa is now part of Gwen's lore, get her out of there, she will get those filthy fucking mutie germs.
LU1: I had someone on Twitter explain to me that Gwen wasn't a mutant, but I can't find anything to back up that claim. Right off the bat, the art style is actually kinda mediocre, on par with Issue 11 of the original series, but I guess it's also on par with the art on most Webtoons I've read. The references to NFTs and social media make this comic super dated already. 7/10.
LU2: Gwen's ways of finding a partner are SILLY, but I guess it's a good way to show that she's really really really desperate to have a love story, and that's about all I have to say about it, really, I don't need to write Loud House Revamped in order to prove that I thought the comic was just okay. 7/10.
LU3: Just about the same shit... Well, not really, since it's in this issue that we see Gwen and Julie talking about relationships and stuff... I find it odd how Gwen's favorite superhero was Julie considering that she never even MENTIONS her in any comic before this one, but hey, the previous writers did not give Gwen a favorite superhero, so Jeremy Whitley had to do it. This issue really answered my question of what Gwen's "leave the panel" power looked like from someone else's perspective. 8/10-ish.
LU4: Which one was that? I don't remember, not like I have Marvel Unlimited to check again. Oh, yeah, it's the one where the reader feels like he's third wheeling and shouldn't be seeing this. Well, y'know, I have a little mental disease where I have to shoot happy couples with a rifle. Also, they promised a crossover with Spider-Man (Petey Parker), and they didn't deliver... No, I am NOT reading GSB again, nor am I reading that new series. 7/10.
LU5: Oh shit this one was the flashback to Gwen's life as a fuckin nerd. Not a lot happened, but it was still pretty frickin crazy, I mean, her hair was like fully pink! I've never seen anyone with pink hair.
LU6: This issue is a really good explanation of what asexuality is, though I don't see anyone saying, "Holy shit, I just found out the meaning of asexuality through an amusing Marvel comic strip on my Samsung A05 smartphone, cocorico*", but it was still a good explanation and just a fun story overall... At one point, she mentions that "dynamite gams" should be added to her wiki page, what the fuck are gams? Well, according to Wikipedia, Gams means the General Algebraic Modeling System... That's nuts! I had no idea Gwen was into math! Don't know why she would just mention the general algebraic modeling system out of the blue like that... Wait a fucking minute, this isn't about algebra! That's right, the urban dictionary says gams are just female legs. They were talking about LEGS this whole time, but then that begs the question, why the fuck does she want that to be listed as a superpower? Having nice legs isn't a superpower, if that was the case, every fucking superhero would have "nice legs" listed as an ability, holy shit, worst superpower ever, nice legs would NOT prevent you from getting beat up by a supervillain, it's totally useless, why would you even suggest that? Get out and don't ever say that again. 9/10.
*I don't know why I felt the need to put that random French word there, but it apparently means "cock-a-doodle-doo", which is the sound a rooster makes.
So, that's apparently it. I mean, what else could I say? Should I express confusion regarding the fact that Spider-Man (Peter Palmer) apparently knows Gwenpool even though they hadn't interacted prior to GSB? Yes, I will express my confusion because how the hell? Is there something I missed? How could I possibly miss my 2 favorite characters meeting for the first time? That is ridiculous, I always have a Spider-Man radar, and it did not go off somewhere between 2018 and 2019... Hey, wait a fucking second, why did Gwen claim to have read Immortal Hulk when she was transported to the Marvel U in 2016 and Immortal Hulk came out in 2018? Does she just have a window where she can still get comics from our world and onto 616? If that's the case, then why doesn't she get out of the fucking comic? Oh, that's right, her life sucked.
So, what else is next for Eddie's Guides? Well, these are just gonna be reviews with fancy titles, but I plan to make 3 limited edition guides with things that I really enjoy.
Secret Special Thanks Section: Me, all the plot holes I encountered, all the people that didn't contribute jack shit to this, my comic book provider, and all the scrapped outdated jokes that were really really really really funny but I couldn't include but were hilarious.
Alright, next time for this series... Uh... I don't know. I was thinking Poodle Hat...
Oh, and the Rocket Raccoon comic will be reviewed another time, I just got lazy this time.
Since one of my most hilarious jokes were RUINED, I opted to make the After-Post for this a Behind The Scenes post detailing just how much I did to produce, write and publish this post.
I made a 10,000 word post and nobody saw it.
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